kleptosophilia

The fetish of sleeping with people who will steal from you and leave unnoticed.

-Yo my gurl Soph slept with some nigga in a yellow sweata and he left in the a.m. with her cash and cards.

-She's sucha kleptosophilia.
-Hurd she still snappin' his ass though.
-Now that's just desparate

by addindefsandshit June 4, 2014

Klepto Friday

On Fridays, we steal things… Klepto Fridays can be defined as the last day of the work week during which folks are encouraged to filch items from businesses and public places to be shown off to friends and kept as trophies.

Friend: Dude why did you just hit the most devious lick on that preschool??!?

Me: Bro, relax. It’s Klepto Friday.

Friend: Facts dude, my bad. Nice toddler you’ve got there.

by Pablito Loco November 12, 2021

offense kleptomaniac

Someone who, when they find an offense that isn't nailed down, will take it, even if they have no connection at all to the person or group that would supposedly be offended by the "offense" in question. This malady is often found in those practicing political correctness, though not exclusive to them.

"What's he complaining about? He's not even affected, it has nothing to do with him whatsoever."

"Oh, he's an offense kleptomaniac."

by nohbody January 1, 2009

klepto

A person who has a compulsion to steal; a kleptomaniac.

Adding to ones inventory what is not there's.

Jen likes to steal all of our supplies from the dispensary.
Everyone is missing combs, clips, brushes, and manicure bowls because she like to add them to her collection.
She is such a klepto

by QueenOfHearts19 March 18, 2013

kleptocracy

A corrupt governmental body made up of thieves, also sullied by nepotism and cronyism, or in other words a synonym for government itself.

History shows that to be governed is to live under a kleptocracy.

by dh8407 June 21, 2017

kleptosexual

One who engages in the theft of virginity.

Dan Cole is such a kleptosexual.

by Brad March 22, 2005

Unkle Kleetus

Unkle Kleetus is the phrase used for a person who can socialize with everybody. Usually dresses in tracksuits but without tucked into socks, caps angled to either side of head, hip hop music on phone, an honest abe beard and tash.

Yo, did yo see dat Unkle Kleetus walk down the street? Yeah, he da bomb man.

by Erik Van Audour October 1, 2009