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Ex-boyfriend Disease

Ex-boyfriend Disease, otherwise known as Pompous Ass Disease. Warning symptoms include heart palpitations, diarrhea, severe headaches and a compulsive need to flee the country. There are many specimens that have been known to be infectious. If you happen to come in contact with one, back away slowly, avoid eye contact, and disinfect immediately!
Woman: I ran into Roger today..
Woman's friend: That bastard! And you had just stopped having diarrhea.

Woman: I know...I tried to run but he was too fast. Next thing I know, I have the sudden urge to live in Australia and go to the bathroom.

Woman's friend: You poor thing, I know quite a bit how you feel. I contracted Ex-boyfriend disease from Jake a year ago. The diarrhea comes and goes just thinking about it.
by MonkeyBubbles July 13, 2017
mugGet the Ex-boyfriend Diseasemug.

ex boyfriend

He told you he wanted to marry you on the fourth date. He quit college and told you to relax when you said you were concerned about their future. You'll feel guilty thinking about guys who actually take their girlfriends out after he stops wanting to go places. Before you know it some girl says she's dating him. The ex boyfriend isn't serious about marriage and has tons of ex girlfriends that you never knew about. He'll disappear from your life.
I should of known my ex boyfriend wasn't going to marry me but I had to learn the hard way.
by MCBL March 5, 2017
mugGet the ex boyfriendmug.

ex-boyfriend

The guy who now tries to sound smart every moment of his life, sends urban dictionary definitions that are low-key calling you out, and you realise why it’s better off this way :D
“Who was that guy defending video games in English like they are his precious babies?”
“Her ex-boyfriend, poor girl...”
by FaelynnHolimion November 9, 2020
mugGet the ex-boyfriendmug.

ex boyfriend tears

The same definition as “male tears”.
Different word, just as funny.
Guy 1: My girlfriend broke up with me.
Guy 2: I’m sorry bro
Guy 1: it’s alright I saw her buy a mug that said “ex boyfriend tears” so now it’s like she’s drinking my jizz.

Guy 2: holy shit that’s funny as hell.
by The_realist_manz February 10, 2019
mugGet the ex boyfriend tearsmug.

ex boyfriend

an old boyfriend who you dumped because it was hard to date at the time and then goes and dates your best friend the next week. Then your best friend becomes your ex best friend and your ex boyfriend becomes a fucking douche bad and you try to talk to him but he acts like he's so cool because he thinks you want him back but you don't!
A: i like your ex boyfriend.
B: that makes me uncomfortable.
by im_fine123 December 15, 2017
mugGet the ex boyfriendmug.

Ex boyfriend

AN UGLY FOCKIN DAM CHEATER WHO DOESNT DESERVE A DAM GIRL
"Aw dam that's my ex boyfriend...UGH!!"
by BrEaD_lOvEr_yAaAa March 6, 2022
mugGet the Ex boyfriendmug.

National Ex Boyfriend Day

August 5th is the day we send appreciation to our favorite ex boyfriend!
You:Do you know what today is?
Ex boyfriend:The 5th?

You:No, national ex boyfriend day!
by You’ll Never Know I Guess August 2, 2022
mugGet the National Ex Boyfriend Daymug.

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