A creepy, 108-year-old virgin pedophile who stalks a girl with less personality than a rock, invented by Stephanie Meyer to brainwash preteen girls in her plan to controll the world.
For some obscure reason, Edward and his whole vampire group sparkle in the sunlight. This was illistrated in the weirdly popular movie, "Twilight," by a few specks of glitter and the tinkling of fairy bells.
Edward like to believe that he is a vampire, rather than a scary-looking insomniac with a blood fetish.
See also, stalker,gay,pedophile, creepy, and eunuch
For some obscure reason, Edward and his whole vampire group sparkle in the sunlight. This was illistrated in the weirdly popular movie, "Twilight," by a few specks of glitter and the tinkling of fairy bells.
Edward like to believe that he is a vampire, rather than a scary-looking insomniac with a blood fetish.
See also, stalker,gay,pedophile, creepy, and eunuch
Girl under the age and IQ of 15: "Edward Cullen is great! He's so romantic and protective!"
Girl in possession of braincells: "No. It's called pedophilia."
Girl in possession of braincells: "No. It's called pedophilia."
by einzweidrei April 12, 2010
Get the Edward Cullen mug.A male in Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series.
Often the focus of female teenage trend-follower's wet dreams. How can they not? I mean... he goes into the sun and... SPARKLES! "Yum?"
Right, then.
Overall, a "perfect guy" made by a female writer that appeals heavily to young women or teens. The only reason that he makes me happy, is because it sets each and every fan girl up for a large amount of disappointment when they meet a real man.
Enjoy, Twilight fan-girls. Please be sure to write juicy comments.
P.S.: Please do use proper spelling and grammar when responding. It isn't nice to give people headaches.
Often the focus of female teenage trend-follower's wet dreams. How can they not? I mean... he goes into the sun and... SPARKLES! "Yum?"
Right, then.
Overall, a "perfect guy" made by a female writer that appeals heavily to young women or teens. The only reason that he makes me happy, is because it sets each and every fan girl up for a large amount of disappointment when they meet a real man.
Enjoy, Twilight fan-girls. Please be sure to write juicy comments.
P.S.: Please do use proper spelling and grammar when responding. It isn't nice to give people headaches.
My girlfriend is currently trying to remove my nipple for trying to post this entry on the fag, Edward Cullen.
Ow! My Edward Colon!
Ow! My Edward Colon!
by OwMyNipple October 21, 2008
Get the Edward Cullen mug.Edward Cullen:
What do *I* say to that? Well, for starters, he's--most arguably--the oldest virgin in the history of the oldest virgins every recorded. Somehow, I can't understand how he has pale skin but goes into the sun and fucking SPARKLES. How the fuck do you sparkle with pale skin? I'm pretty sure even that Count Dracula himself can't answer that...
Anywho, as Bella may see him as "kind", "caring", "stubborn"... Poor girl. For an "intelligent" person, you sure are one DUMB retard. Edward is ABUSIVE! He is insecure, Bella! Look it up!
Who the hell watches you sleep at night(and you don't even know the motherfucker, either)? Who the hell contemplates suicide when he can't have the one he loves?
...Right.
Anywho, seeing as Edward Cullen is the prettiest "vampire" EVER, I suppose fangirls would take an immediate disliking to this. (Like I give a damn...)
Anyway, Edward lives out his pathetically "gorgeous" life with his vampire lover/toy Bella and their daughter, the spawn of satan, Rene-- ...I give up trying to pronounce her name.
What do *I* say to that? Well, for starters, he's--most arguably--the oldest virgin in the history of the oldest virgins every recorded. Somehow, I can't understand how he has pale skin but goes into the sun and fucking SPARKLES. How the fuck do you sparkle with pale skin? I'm pretty sure even that Count Dracula himself can't answer that...
Anywho, as Bella may see him as "kind", "caring", "stubborn"... Poor girl. For an "intelligent" person, you sure are one DUMB retard. Edward is ABUSIVE! He is insecure, Bella! Look it up!
Who the hell watches you sleep at night(and you don't even know the motherfucker, either)? Who the hell contemplates suicide when he can't have the one he loves?
...Right.
Anywho, seeing as Edward Cullen is the prettiest "vampire" EVER, I suppose fangirls would take an immediate disliking to this. (Like I give a damn...)
Anyway, Edward lives out his pathetically "gorgeous" life with his vampire lover/toy Bella and their daughter, the spawn of satan, Rene-- ...I give up trying to pronounce her name.
Retarded Fangirl: Like OMG! Twilight has a happy ending! Edward Cullen issofuckinghotlikeOMGIcan'ttakeitanymore!
Sensible Person: Yeah, uh...Shut the hell up.
Sensible Person: Yeah, uh...Shut the hell up.
by Infinite Structure April 28, 2009
Get the Edward Cullen mug.Sparkley sugar daddy (Old men who like to spoil their young girlfriends) that is a peeping tom and has an un-natural obsession with a rather clingy girl.
"Screw Edward Cullen, I support Cedric Diggory"
"Edward Cullen is a great example of dirty old men you usually meet over the internet"
"Edward Cullen is a great example of dirty old men you usually meet over the internet"
by Snape loves you January 26, 2010
Get the Edward Cullen mug.Cougler (adj.)is a young male who is attracted to cougars (An older woman who looks to pick up younger men), because he enjoys the experience factor and the excitement that is associated with the chase. some guys even though they could get young women they only go after hot older women these are couglers.
by Mike the Cougler February 27, 2009
Get the Cougler mug.Edward Cullen meets Squidward from Spongebob. Good term to use if you are a Twilighter who does not take yourself too seriously, or, better yet, one who absolutely detests Stephenie Meyer and finds Edward to be somewhat, well, squid-faced.
Psh, yeah, would you shut up about Squidward Cullen or whoever it is you're obsessed with these days?
by that one odd hottie July 1, 2008
Get the Squidward Cullen mug.1. FICTIONAL sparkly pansy vampire whose only purpose of being is to drop the panties of any girl dumb enough to actually think this fuck is romantic and sexy.
2. Stephanie Meyer's dream man. She fucks him in her sleep because she doesn't get enough loving from her family.
3. Abusive vampire thing who is apparently made of stone or marble or some sort of beautiful white rock.
2. Stephanie Meyer's dream man. She fucks him in her sleep because she doesn't get enough loving from her family.
3. Abusive vampire thing who is apparently made of stone or marble or some sort of beautiful white rock.
1. OH EDWARD CULLEN, TAKE ME NOW BECAUSE I'M 13 AND STUPID!!!1!!1ONEONEONE!!11!1!1
2. Stephanie Meyer: TAKE ME NOW, EDWARD CULLEN! MARRY ME!!!!
3. Guy: "How'd you get that bruise?"
Twitard: "I was reading Twilight and I was just so turned on by Edward Cullen that I just HAD to bruise myself too! He's cold like marble, you know."
Guy: ".....I'm not fucking you ever."
2. Stephanie Meyer: TAKE ME NOW, EDWARD CULLEN! MARRY ME!!!!
3. Guy: "How'd you get that bruise?"
Twitard: "I was reading Twilight and I was just so turned on by Edward Cullen that I just HAD to bruise myself too! He's cold like marble, you know."
Guy: ".....I'm not fucking you ever."
by NinjaK October 20, 2008
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