Shades worn by fat old men who want people to think they're young and trendy. Also useful for hiding bags under the eyes of droopy-faced old miseries.
Good God, what's the old twat wearing now? First it was the ridiculous shorts and sandals. Now the dickhead's got Pork Scotch Shades on.
by Flappy Dickwad May 24, 2009
One who enjoys partaking in the pleasures of having a man's penis frequently in his or her mouth. They are usually quite passionate with their hobby of engulfing miles of manmeat.
My girlfriend Bonnie does a great dissapearing act when she swallows all of my juicy cock. She is a stupendous pork sword swallower, and does it with such vigor and professionalism. A real go getter.
by Craven Snatch January 08, 2009
A huge bunch of keys carried by little fat security guards because it makes them feel important. The only keys actually used are the ones to his house, his mum's house and his silly white van. The 58 others are ones he's found.
Look at that guy's keyring! He must own lots of houses and cars.
Wrong! What we have here is a cretinous security guard. They're only Pork Scotch Keys. He found most of them. Hasn't a bloody clue what they're for.
What a nobhead.
Wrong! What we have here is a cretinous security guard. They're only Pork Scotch Keys. He found most of them. Hasn't a bloody clue what they're for.
What a nobhead.
by benny twadge May 24, 2009
A manly, wrinkly woman that is the 'girlfriend of Pork Scotch. She has rabbit teeth and is as ugly and manly as Pork Scotch himself. She has a spac grandson and wears old bagish clothes that shit stained schumachers would wear. By going out with her, this proves Pork Scotch's Homosexuality.
Ugghhh! Look, it's Pork Scotch's 'girlfriend'. I hate her! UGLY Bitch!!! Eating garlic bread at the green plastic table with Porky doing his famous drunken dance.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 12, 2009
The type of shit music played by fat old men at barbecues. The music is usually of South African origin and has a rhythm which the fat old man can't resist doing a gay dance to when he gets drunk on rum.
Monk: The barbecue's fine but why the shit music?
Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
by flappy dickwad June 20, 2009
The act of meeting a female stranger in a public setting, usually where alcohol is served, with the intention of hooking up later on to have sexual intercourse, and once successful, immediately fleeing the female's abode after she has fallen asleep.
Dude 1: hey man, let's go to the bar and find some nasty whores. Dude 2: alright, you thinkin' about a pork n' bail? Dude 1: yea, i'm not looking for anything long-term. Dude 2: yep.
by Beauxgrass July 09, 2009
Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
by Flappy Dickwad May 05, 2009