Captain DoucheBeard

He is one of the few Admiral Douchebags, sailing the office halls, highschools, and other public places. Often confused with Captain Redbeard, but rather than being a ginger, he has jet black hair.

He is often seen wearing a pair of sunglasses a wifebeater. Nothing can stop his greasy hair and fake Italian/New Jersian accent, for he as always dreamed of being a cast member on the Jersey Shore

He spends his days pointing at his biceps, following women, making promises he can't keep, blasting his shitty music, revving his car at anyone who dares walk "his" streets, lifting 20-pound dumbells while drinking Martinis, tanning while it's cloudy out, insulting anyone who wears the wrong brand shoes, complaining about his cellphone service, emptying gallons of spray deodorant, and banging your girlfriend.
Tom: What a douche!
Brady: That's Captain DoucheBeard.
by iSpeakDaTruthz February 18, 2011
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captain debauchery

a bartender superhero alias who lives in edmonton alberta.
His special powers include being able to out drink and out party the common folk.If you are caught drinking with him

beware of his weakness vodka.
by burninoil January 03, 2012
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captain cornflakes

Someone who really does not like the n word...
I said the n word on Captain Cornflakes stream, karma is an n word
by I am a fucking cunt March 02, 2017
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Captain Sparklez

A name used to describe someone with the ability to move their hair line at will.
Person1: Wow that guy has the ability to move his hair line at will

Person2: Yeah he's a Captain Sparklez
by Hombre_de_papa May 16, 2022
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Captain crunching

The action of eating food out of each other's ass in a 69 position
I was peanut butter captain crunching my wife's ass last night and got a random piece of corn.
by Devonwolfman February 25, 2022
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Captain Cohad

Captain Ahab's nephew's horse, known for being wider than he is long. Also, pseudonym of Little Mikey from Life cereal
Who is that? Captain Cohad, new guy.
by PriapicExpectations March 12, 2015
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Captain Diabeetus

A superhero created for people with Diabetes
Teen - “ Mam look am Captain Diabeetus”

Mam- “ Put your clothes on and take that blanket from your neck. You need your insulin
by Floppy sticks September 23, 2018
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