breaching turtle

noun; Known regionally as "mustachious dollarous amphibious," the breaching turtle is a somewhat timid creature that can be commonly found relaxing stage-side at area strip clubs. It is not uncommon to see anywhere between 2-5 breaching turtles occupying the same dimly lit corner. The breaching turtle spends most of its time with its head safely concealed within its t-shirt-like shell (*note: breaching turtles have the ability to remain submerged for up to as many as 3 Def Leppard songs). A breaching turtle will remain concealed until its insatiable appetite for titty resin causes it to burst forth, craning its long neck in the direction of its prey. The breaching turtle utilizes a dollar bill held firmly between its nose and mouth to lure in the stripper it desires. Upon having titties rub in its face, the breaching turtle may linger for several more sets of titties before quietly retreating back into its shell. On rare occasion, breaching turtles may emerge to particularly large, old, or ugly strippers upon which the breaching turtle will hastily recede back into the safety of its 100% cotton shell (see "frightened turtle")

"Did you see Chris last night?"

"Yeah man! He waited through like two whole dances before totally going breaching turtle on that one with the phat azz and big ole tit-tays!"

by mustachious dollarous June 26, 2014

Slippery Turtle

A Slipper Turtle is when a man is very bored with sex, and just wants to end it. The man will be looking for a way out, to end the sex and just get out of the situation. Keep in mind however, they must be performing anal sex with the girl. He will act as though he is close to a climax, and inside of ejaculation inside of her, he will urinate inside her anus. The phrase has to do with later in the day\evening when the female must perform a bowl movement. The urine will make the movement slippery, and the movement is referred to as a 'turtle'.

Man: Dude I gave Female a Slippery Turtle, she said it was the easiest turd she's ever passed.

by Burn Down Horizon. October 4, 2009

turtle hunting

The act of pushing a shit out of your ass and pulling it back up inside, resembling that of a turtle head.

I went hardcore turtle hunting last night. It weighed at least three pounds.

by BlakeTheSnakeDager March 6, 2016

dancing turtle

a turtle that boogies all day, cause it's brother in law got stung by 2 bees in a row.

I have an awesome dancing turtle <3

by reeeeeee.exe.exe October 9, 2019

Dirty Turtle

An uncircumcised penis after anal sex.

I need a shower— I just ass-fucked this bitch and gotta wash my dirty turtle.

by HW2019 May 24, 2019

turtle head

when you hold in your poop but it comes out a tiny bit. your butt is like the shell of a turtle and the poop is the head

man, i have a turtle head but there aren't any bathrooms here

by turtledude September 20, 2013

Turtle Hopper

When you are almost to a restroom door/stall and someone cuts in front of you and takes the last spot forcing you to seek out a new place to go.

I was en route to take a huge crap when some turtle hopper jumped in front of me. The turtle was peaking out but I managed to contain him long enough to find another place to go.

by Greenmind July 1, 2011