cock your trumpet

British
To take ages on the toilet, usually taking a really long shit.

"After that long walk I'm gonna go cock my trumpet."

"Oh you're going in? Are you gonna cock your trumpet?"
"Hahaha yeah gonna be ages"
"Ok don't be too long"

by dkamais498 July 04, 2020

anal trumpet

When you blow into ones asshole, and it makes a sound like a trumpet

Hey lover come here and let me play your anal trumpet

by TrÜtH February 22, 2016

burnt trumpet

A derivative of a rusty trombone without the pesky slide.

1. A musical instrument found in the ashes of a fire;

2. What happens after the glory hole factory's annual 50 hole dash where some folks weren't following the rules.

Examples:
1. Hey, look, I found this burnt trumpet near the chimney;
2. Naw dude I'm not going to work, again today. Monday was rough, still trying to get all the shit off my burnt trumpet.

by FMBC25 December 23, 2024

nut trumpet

A mighty instrumental phallis with a pending semanic eruption

I spent $20 to have a working girl do a solo on my nut trumpet

by Lorenzo Lameass February 25, 2024

canadian trumpet

a long fart that starts as a soft high pitch squeak, then changes to a hard mid pitch to finish

Alexis did you just play the Canadian Trumpet?

by Str8offDATteet January 16, 2018

trumpet pinky

Being a trumpet player and your right pinky is always sore from the oinky hook behind the valves.

Ouch, I can barely move my finger, I guess this is what I get for playing trumpet, trumpet pinky sucks. This trumpet sure is a brasshole.

by Swagbæ June 19, 2018

lone trumpeter

Someone playing their instrument on the periphery. Usually low in confidence or voyeuristic.

I went dogging last night. There was a lone trumpeter stood at the edge of the car park.

by Brassband Billy November 03, 2021