a Jewish family with 4 or more kids
by trehouselighter420 December 25, 2022
Get the Jewish Mormons mug.A main focus of the church of Jesus’ Christ of Latter Day Saints is on families. One purpose of their temples is to be eternally sealed as a family so you can be together forever. Resurrection part 2(heaven) is made up of three little groups depending how you lived your life; celestial, terrestrial, and telestrial.
Celestial is the highest heaven: it’s closer to god. you only get go there if you are sealed in the temple, have children, follow the word of wisdom, and if you repent for your sins. If you don’t have kids or get married, have fun in the terrestrial kingdom, especially if you’re gay. “sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded” meaning if you’re gay, the church expects you to suck it up and shove it. Next up is the telestrial kingdom, the place farthest from god. if you lived a good life and followed the Ten Commandments, but not the word of wisdom you go there. Hell is the absence of god’s presence. You go there if you get ‘led astray by satan’, aka leave the church.
Overall the Mormon church is based on lies, and only adjusts its core beliefs so it doesn’t get canceled. They have a good community that focuses on making sure even if you want to leave all your friends are from the church and they would just pity you for leaving. The families all put up a front to look good for each other so they can do something other than cry or make a sports metaphor about god in front of the whole church.
Celestial is the highest heaven: it’s closer to god. you only get go there if you are sealed in the temple, have children, follow the word of wisdom, and if you repent for your sins. If you don’t have kids or get married, have fun in the terrestrial kingdom, especially if you’re gay. “sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded” meaning if you’re gay, the church expects you to suck it up and shove it. Next up is the telestrial kingdom, the place farthest from god. if you lived a good life and followed the Ten Commandments, but not the word of wisdom you go there. Hell is the absence of god’s presence. You go there if you get ‘led astray by satan’, aka leave the church.
Overall the Mormon church is based on lies, and only adjusts its core beliefs so it doesn’t get canceled. They have a good community that focuses on making sure even if you want to leave all your friends are from the church and they would just pity you for leaving. The families all put up a front to look good for each other so they can do something other than cry or make a sports metaphor about god in front of the whole church.
Me: This is a rant and it barely scratches the surface. Go to the church website, lds.org, for their values, they have a dictionary thing that states their beliefs on certain topics. For stuff against the church, the ces letter by Jeremy runnels is a good place to start. Another good spot is YouTube interviews with Ex-Mormons.
by Macetree November 28, 2021
Get the Mormon mug.by Levi Ebenezer the Wicked January 11, 2021
Get the Mormon mug.Self righteous douchebags who will be your best friend until you join the cult and everyone then treats you like any imperfections they can nit-pick off of you are mortal sins
by Rabbitfox February 21, 2021
Get the Mormon mug.Mormon women. Click-ish, horrible women who act “Christ-like” to your face and gossip behind your back. The Mormon version of a succubus, so no physical touch or any companionship, just friendly enough to extract information from you to report negative news to the “leadership” of the branch or ward, which they turn around and use as Mormon blackmail, insisting that you must do as they say or else face outer darkness.
by Rabbitfox February 21, 2021
Get the Mormon Relief Society mug.N. Someone who possess the face of a Mormon
N. Someone whose face is just too nice to not be a Mormon
N. Someone whose face is just too nice to not be a Mormon
by Spec.Ed April 9, 2021
Get the Mormon face mug.Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that live in Cache County, Utah. Arguably the worst Mormons out there due to their rampant level of incest and cheapness.
Dude 1: Dude look at this chick I matched with!
Dude 2: Yeah right dude, she's a Cache Valley Mormon.
Dude 1: No way, she's fine!
Dude 2: Sure if you like shopping at Walmart and hanging out at the Fun Park...
Dude 2: Yeah right dude, she's a Cache Valley Mormon.
Dude 1: No way, she's fine!
Dude 2: Sure if you like shopping at Walmart and hanging out at the Fun Park...
by Big Camp June 6, 2022
Get the Cache Valley Mormon mug.