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wank and thank

Noun. The act of engaging in mutual masturbation only, or engage in cybersex, with a partner without actual intercourse taking place.
Verb. To engage solely in mutual masturbation, or engage in cybersex, with a partner and nothing else.
Filbert and I had a wank and thank last night on instant messenger.

Lisa wanked and thanked with her ex-boyfriend after they broke up.
by Sheldon Wangle October 2, 2007
mugGet the wank and thankmug.

Topical Wank

Pastime carried out by females or males of the general public and or celebrities. The act of masturbation by a man or a woman thinking of a subject or persons being "topical"/ current i.e. in the news and or media at the time of the masturbation/wank act.
during the Wimbledon tennis tournament (2week period), if wanking in the morning, one might say:
"i woke up this morning and had a topical wank whilst thinking of Serena Williams nailing Tsvetana Pironkova with a strap on cock in a lesbian love fest.

"i bashed one out last night during the news to that Russian spy Anna Chapman. It was a deeply satisfying topical wank".
by Unknown Minman July 12, 2010
mugGet the Topical Wankmug.

Extreme Wanking

This is when you masturbate in an unusual way.
You could be upside down at the time, using two elbows, your feet, sports equipment or rolling pins.
The purpose of extreme wanking is to spice up your wank life
Extreme Wanking example

The Andre Agassi : Double back hander

1. Assume a seated position
2. Point your legs to the heavens.
3. Put your hands underneath your legs.
4. Put both hands around your penis.
5. Enjoy!
by G-spot and McScrote May 25, 2007
mugGet the Extreme Wankingmug.

Strategic Wank

The act of masturbating to avoid any sexual tension before seeing a person you really shouldn't have sex with.
I had a strategic wank thinking 'bout his mom, before I went to his family house. Certainly helped!
by vincent9119 April 2, 2013
mugGet the Strategic Wankmug.

Wank Holiday

The term used when you have to work on a Bank Holiday when you really don't want to. I.e. A Working Bank Holiday
Sorry can't do anything today unlike the rest of you cos I'm on a Wank Holiday
by Gazmonde May 3, 2010
mugGet the Wank Holidaymug.

Wank Pellet

A name used to describe someone who is a proper time-wasting bell-end, a really useless prick.
"Dave hasn't turned up for work again, he's a proper wank pellet
by Chodenibbler May 29, 2018
mugGet the Wank Pelletmug.

Curtain Wank

The act of masturbating into a curtain.
Mostly done into somebody else's curtain, other than your own. You don't want your drapes all spunky now, do you.
John: dude, you split up with dat hoe yet?
Jack: nah, m8
John: dooo it faggot, give her the curtain wank treatment
by The Curtain Fucker August 17, 2011
mugGet the Curtain Wankmug.

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