Phantom Testicle Syndrome, or PTS, is a burning, stinging, and overall painful sensation caused in the kidneys after being violently pummeled in the balls by an attacker.
First realized after an unlucky caveman failed to drag an unconscious cavewoman to his dwelling fast enough. She escaped by nailing the brute square in his nuts with a large stone. A genetic predisposition soon developed in the human female. They now do it for fun.
It is believed that the feeling occurs because the testicles were once attached to the kidneys during fetal development. This phenomenon is known in practical medical terms as "phantom limb syndrome," giving rise to its name "Phantom Testicle Syndrome" or "PTS."
The only real relief for the pain, is to stop moving, and assume a fetal position. This remedy is highly controversial sparking disputes amongst doctors, biologists, and psychologists, who really don't count in the matter. Biologists surmise this could be related to the fetal development phase, wherein the fetus is in such a position and the testicles are still connected to the kidneys. Psychologists say that is BS, and the mere thought makes the guy feel better. Doctors kick them both in the balls to see the effects of the remedy.
A very effective test to see if the woman you are dating was once a man. The absence of PTS confirms she was always female. If PTS ensues, you have a transsexual.
First realized after an unlucky caveman failed to drag an unconscious cavewoman to his dwelling fast enough. She escaped by nailing the brute square in his nuts with a large stone. A genetic predisposition soon developed in the human female. They now do it for fun.
It is believed that the feeling occurs because the testicles were once attached to the kidneys during fetal development. This phenomenon is known in practical medical terms as "phantom limb syndrome," giving rise to its name "Phantom Testicle Syndrome" or "PTS."
The only real relief for the pain, is to stop moving, and assume a fetal position. This remedy is highly controversial sparking disputes amongst doctors, biologists, and psychologists, who really don't count in the matter. Biologists surmise this could be related to the fetal development phase, wherein the fetus is in such a position and the testicles are still connected to the kidneys. Psychologists say that is BS, and the mere thought makes the guy feel better. Doctors kick them both in the balls to see the effects of the remedy.
A very effective test to see if the woman you are dating was once a man. The absence of PTS confirms she was always female. If PTS ensues, you have a transsexual.
Example 1:
Little Jimmy was playing ball with his friend Carl when Katie from next door came over unprovoked and landed a devastating blow to Jimmy's berries. Carl, ran away crying at the sight of Jimmy experiencing Phantom Testicle Syndrome and twitching in the fetal position. Katie laughed at his misfortune.
Example 2:
Phantom Testicle Syndrome is not the name of an indie band, but sucks as bad as if they existed.
Example 3:
Phillip attempted to inflict PTS on Cindy, as he thought she was a tranny, but she did not fall to the floor into the fetal position, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Little Jimmy was playing ball with his friend Carl when Katie from next door came over unprovoked and landed a devastating blow to Jimmy's berries. Carl, ran away crying at the sight of Jimmy experiencing Phantom Testicle Syndrome and twitching in the fetal position. Katie laughed at his misfortune.
Example 2:
Phantom Testicle Syndrome is not the name of an indie band, but sucks as bad as if they existed.
Example 3:
Phillip attempted to inflict PTS on Cindy, as he thought she was a tranny, but she did not fall to the floor into the fetal position, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
by trust_no1 October 6, 2011
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a poo that disappears round the bend of the loo before you stand up, and leaves no trace of pooey remnants on your arse when you wipe.
There is no actual proof that this has ever happened.
There is no actual proof that this has ever happened.
"I thought i had a poo, but there was nothing in the pan. When I wiped my arse, there was nothing there!"
"Youve had a phantom ace, mate."
"Youve had a phantom ace, mate."
by Rob July 18, 2005
Get the phantom ace mug.All the creepy, scary words you can think of put together. From Lemony Snickets a Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 3, The Wide Window.
In front of the cave there was a sign saying for sale, and the orphans could not imagine who would want to buy such a phantasmagorical place.
by Brigid May 3, 2004
Get the phantasmagorical mug.A mysterious shit left by a person in an abnormal place to annoy another person, followed by a phone call to the victim whispering "The phantom has struck."
Example 1: "Oh my god someone has shit on a plate and put it in the fridge.
Example 2: Victim "What is that on top of the bonnet of my car? Christ that's somebody's shit."
Telephone Rings
Victim "Hello"
Phantom Shitter: "The phantom has struck"
Example 2: Victim "What is that on top of the bonnet of my car? Christ that's somebody's shit."
Telephone Rings
Victim "Hello"
Phantom Shitter: "The phantom has struck"
by The Phantom Shizer April 1, 2011
Get the Phantom Shit mug.The phantom shit is that feeling that you still have to shit when the amount of matter dumped into the bowl clearly indicates that there is no shit left to evacuate from your colon. Much like people who loose limbs can still feel as if the limb is there.
by Imperion September 14, 2005
Get the phantom shit mug.An orgasm for homosexual men. When self-induced, it most-likely involes unicorns, rainbows, and fairies.
When little Johnny reached his phantasm, his parents kicked him out of the house (His father later died from acohol abuse while his mother jumped into moving traffic.
by PizzleEizzleTizzleEizzleRizzle September 27, 2005
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