Monday

A day where anything and everything bad will happen. Tsunamis will take place. Volcanoes will erupt. Aliens will abduct babies. Your boss will fire you (for no apparent reason).

"My five-year girlfriend broke up with me."
"Damn, man, I'm sorry. When?"
"Monday."
"Of course."

by madeine July 19, 2016

Monday morning cornerback

An individual who retrospectively attributes their failures and disappointments to external factors rather than acknowledging their own contributions.

Ignore that guy. He's just a Monday morning cornerback. Never accepts blame for his own screwups.

by A legit doctor. Not a joke. December 31, 2024

Monday

The day you find out you don't have to die to go to hell...

me: Am I dead?
friend: No, but you are in hell.
me: how?
friend: It's monday.

by Bloesem September 4, 2018

Megalodon monday

A national holiday every monday celebrating the Megalodon shark

Tim: What day is it?

Rob: Its Megalodon monday!

Tim: Thanks!

by Kibahascorona July 12, 2023

Monday quarterbacking

1. Just bullshiting off the top of your head
2. Saying whatever comes to your mind

1. Jimmy was pretty much Monday quarterbacking the whole presentation

by Protein Dan July 30, 2018

Monday

the day you realize you don't have to die to go to hell

I thought I wouldn't be punished for my sins until after my death. Apparently I was wrong, i happens on monday.

by Bloesem May 18, 2020

French Monday

When you smoke a joint and then proceed to Eiffel Tower a woman

“It feels like a French Monday too”

by Johnnie Kennedy/Austin Feltner June 2, 2025