self-help paradox

The age-old conundrum of "people who seek self-improvement vs. people who need self-improvement" --- generally speaking, the people who are conscientious and unashamedly self-examining enough to actively seek ways to improve themselves do not really need to self-improve very much, whereas the people who truly do need to improve themselves will not admit that they even HAVE a self-inadequacy problem, and so they arrogantly/impatiently refuse to seek or accept help in improving their character or behavior (think, the infamous "getters gettin' got" conversation between Madea and Dr. Phil).
Client, to counsellor, at the outset of their weekly meeting: Breaker one-five for reality check --- come on back?
Counsellor, playing along: Yeah, go ahead, Breaker --- reading you wall-to-wall and treetop-tall.
Client: Thanks --- that's a big ten-four, good buddy. Well, I'm in the process of trying to improve myself, and so I thought I'd send a random shout-out over the waves to check my progress. I've been trying to be more sociable and patient and helpful to everyone, visualize things more from their perspective, and so on.
Counsellor: Well, eights and other good numbers to you on THAT one, good buddy --- that's certainly a positive start. Have you tried self-help books?
Client: Oh, a great BIG ten-four THERE, good buddy --- I've read at least a half-dozen of 'em cover-to-cover, and loved every page; the problem, though, is that I never seem to find any new ideas --- most everything in there is stuff I already know about and am actively practicing, so the books just reassuringly confirm the nature and wisdom of my efforts, not provide fresh perspectives for further improvement.
Counsellor: Ah... well, ten-four, good buddy --- I totally "get you" there... the old "self-help paradox", eh?? The only people who'll read those books are ones who don't need 'em!
by QuacksO February 03, 2017
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Demitri Sconavar’s Paradox

“If an education system’s goal is to educate and prepare its recipients for the real world, then why are the graduates so uneducated, and under prepared?”

-Demitri Sconavar

D
John: “how do the leaders of our society not understand that what they’re doing is immoral and violates the human rights of a group of individuals?”

Jane: “Demitri Sconavar’s Paradox”
by Charli3 Black October 01, 2020
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rock paradox

tf you though you rock paradox
by sabeebee December 01, 2017
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No Bitches Paradox

When women who want men with no bitches inadvertently gives him bitches, therefore making him no longer a man who has no bitches.
Guy 1: Did you hear about Lisa? She apparently wants to date Nick cause he has no bitches.
Guy 2: Wouldn't that mean Nick would have bitches then?
Guy 1: Yeah, they must not know about the No Bitches Paradox.
by [._.] July 13, 2022
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Illways paradox

The paradox takes place when a self destructive personality takes a tab of acid hoping for a bad trip. The bad trip doesn’t take place and the user is left disappointed. By definition making the trip a bad trip but also not.

Can be used to avoid a bad trip, don’t recommend risking it.
“What did you get up to on the weekend?”

“Took a tab of acid hoping to trip balls and believe I’m a giant orange that everyone on earth wants to peel but it didn’t happen so I’m pissed”

“Bro is that like some mad paradox or something?”

“Idk man let’s call it illways paradox
by Illway February 20, 2021
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Martultimatum paradox

Paradox in which you are stuck in a situation where you can't decide whether to give hope or reject one's feelings basically having no other ways to deal with something until it dies off.

I.e: Someone who is afraid of commitment but doesn't want to hurt the other's feeling by rejecting them.

Officially named after the person who caused the paradox hypothesis
"Damn bro im in a Martultimatum paradox with this girl rn" "Make up your mind bro"
by nightmarerobma January 02, 2024
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red Batman Paradox

The moment in ones life when one meets a degenerate that likes to groom little girls and hates anime
person 1: hey i just met this degenerate, he likes grooming little girls and hates anime.

person 2: yikes, sounds like the red Batman Paradox to me.
by le bruh moment April 19, 2021
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