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take a real one

function: verb

1. To 'take a real one' is to have a bowel movement that is particularly forceful or emotionally necessary. The feelings that accompany 'taking a real one' are typically frustration, surprise, and/or anger. To 'take a real one' is to figuratively unload a pile of feces onto a situation which bears no other possible reaction. 'Taking a real one' also implies that you can't even mentally just imagine crapping on something, you are are so annoyed that it is literally forcing a big load of pants-pudding from your agitated lower intestine.
1. I can't deal with this any more. I'm going to go take a real one.

2. Oh for the love of Pete! I just lost my entire thesis. Thanks a lot Microsoft Word! This makes me want to take a real one.

3. For the entire movie, all I could think about was taking a real one.

4. I'd prefer to take a real one rather than stay at this bar for another second.
by Alana Post October 5, 2005
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crack one off

"I got so excited when I saw her that I nearly cracked one off."
by BigJC December 1, 2003
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crack one off

v. To fart, usually loudly or pugnaciously.
Some dude on the train cracked one off as I passed him by.
by Niall February 11, 2004
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burn one's poker

I gotta go to the clinic cuz i burned my poker
by Blake November 12, 2002
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the one

The person who has the power to change things within The Matrix, i.e. Neo.

Also a crappy movie starring Jet Li traversing parallel dimensions.
Morpheus believes that Neo is the one.

After watching The One, i wanted to go back in time and kill myself as to prevent myself from watching said movie.
by trip June 18, 2003
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Worst One

My errector set is the worst one because it has a metric fuckton of flat head screws for me to slip off of and cut open my fucking thumb.
by PFJ July 23, 2003
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cut one

Damn, who cut one?
I dunno but I'm about to cut one!
by Johnny October 28, 2003
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