Houdini Turd

When your sitting on the toilet for atleast 20 minutes and it feels as if the biggest turd has came out of your rectum; when you get up to wipe there's nothing in the bowl.
After twenty minutes of sitting on the crapper Johnny got up to whip and comes to find nothing there but a Houdini Turd.
by Lueckmans November 09, 2009
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Speed Turd

A small speed bump that you don't have to slow down for.
Driver: Speeding, going 55 in a 25.

Passenger: yells slow down, watch out for that speed bump!

Driver: hits it going full speed then says"Oh thats just a speed turd"
by CJ Stuntin March 30, 2010
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Turd Station

1. A place or business where the people are usually rude turds and/or charge outrageous prices for shitty services & products.

2. A radio station or media network, where they put out garbage, such as political spin, political propaganda, dis-information and celebrity news. For example: CNN, NBC, MSNBC, etc.

3. A place where you go to poop.
I was listening to NPR last night, when this guy called in and yelled out, 'What in tarnation is on this turd station'!
by ChemicalPulseDotCom January 16, 2013
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turd hearse

A manure spreader; device commonly used by farmers to spread livestock feces on their fields to use as fertilizer.
"Dad's out in the field, pulling the turd hearse behind his tractor. He cleaned the hog house today."
by oldgeezer March 06, 2010
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Perfume on a Turd

When my friends ex-girlfriend was taking too long to get ready to go out one night, another buddy said "What's the point? You might as well try to put perfume on a turd."
by desertcajun September 12, 2008
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service turd

a waiter, waitress, or other retail worker who has a bad attitude or bad service.
My waitress at Olive Garden last night was a service turd. she took my menu before I had ordered!
by professionalpotato April 17, 2016
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turd searching

Throwing up in the toilet, with one's head over the bowl as if one was searching for excrement.
Joe: Hey where did Tyler go?

Tom: He's turd searching after trying the hour of power. Give him some time
by Mike LaTorrez January 03, 2013
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