Guy A: Last night my girlfriend totally ruined my bed sheets.
Guy B: Oh yeah, looks like you got a jizz bed!
Guy B: Oh yeah, looks like you got a jizz bed!
by Andrea Sheikha June 27, 2011
The inability (if only psychosomatically) to move after experiencing a state of fatigue through the day.
by Saph-69 September 11, 2021
when a certain someone does not go to bed at a normal time and is destroying their sleep schedule won't go to bed.
by buckbaizen September 25, 2020
Commonly referred to when an over weight male has a weak boner and is then sat on by his fat wife in bed. This causes him to take a giant shit from the excitement, resulting in a duo of snow angle activity in the pile of excess body fluids.
I was in the middle of a porn video, when my grandmother called me asking if i could wipe her ass cause she's so fat she can't reach around. My wife Judy jumped on my 2 inch junk, causing an instant dirty bed.
by MethDuck February 18, 2014
The drink you thought at the time was a good idea but you didn't manage to drink. More often than not you will mistakenly have a good slug of it in the middle of the night before you realize it has a massive amount of alcohol in it. Bed swill can often be the final straw to making you bucket drunk.
I was too drunk to finish that ridiculously strong end if the night drink. I woke up parched and had a huge swig of it before I realized it was a whiskey and cola, not a plain cola. I'd totally gotten away with not puking until I drank that bed-swill.
by Foxy Bonnet July 05, 2014
by JJJJJJJJJJJJJJ69 August 30, 2019
The scourge of the Earth as far as insects go. The closest thing to a living hell short of a chronic condition or painful disease. A small itchy insect that will cause you to lose sleep to the point where you will verge on the brink of insanity, but after you live with them for a few years you will slowly real yourself back in. Has a strong negative effect on quality of life as a whole, as your work performance will suffer, visitors will find out and never come back or you stop inviting them in the first place (social isolation) and you give up hope for the future as you've gotten rid of almost all your furniture and had your home fumigated several times, but yet, they're still there. If you are allergic (not everyone is) you will NEVER be presentable in public, as you will have red welts on most of the places on your body, such as the back of your arms, the love handle area, around your knees and lower thighs, etc. While sitting idle in your own home, you will rarely ever go two full minutes without itching ever again unless you're moving and active. Without taking some measures to keep their numbers down, you will eventually find that they are traveling in the clothes you're wearing while in public. You'll be checking out some international calling cards at your local Dollar General and look down and see a rust colored bug crawling across your chest. You'll learn to hate them so bad you smoosh them between your fingers whenever you see one.
If I don't get rid of these bed bugs, I may just torch my house and all my possessions and start anew.
by Sifting Through July 23, 2017