Jesus-napping

Kidnapping of a Jesus Christ or Baby Jesus figurine from a nativity scene—also defined as Creche-robbing.

An alleged Jesus-napping was reported on New Year's Eve from St. Matthew Roman Catholic Church's nativity scene. The Baby Jesus figurine was reportedly worth $30. Police believe the Creche-robbing occurred between 8 p.m. on Dec. 31 and 10 a.m. Jan. 1.

by PoliceBeat January 23, 2012

Jesus Boner

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.

Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

jesus zipper

Jesus Zipper, the line of skin that goes from the base of your man stick (penis) straight down and around your pill pouch (scrotum) all the way to your brown star (anus).

The term Jesus Zipper was coined by AJ Styles after a mishap in the ring that left him straddling the ropes in an unceremonious fashion. During an interview he said "I landed right on my Jesus Zipper."

by Rattleshark December 7, 2016

Brooklyn Jesus

Notorious B.I.G aka Biggie Smalls aka Brroklyn's Jesus was one of the greatest M.C of all time.He is known as the Brooklyn's Jesus because he was Brooklyn's savior. Meaning he brought back the east coast, New York's hip hop.

The Brooklyn Jesus is the best M.C of all time.

by PrinceKush March 1, 2017

Jesus fly

That one fly generally in the house, that no matter how hard you smack it with the fly swatter seems to live (and fly away)

What the hell! I thought I just killed that fly!! It must be a Jesus fly..!!

by jalama oma September 12, 2013

Jesus Breath

having bad breath after consumption of the body of Christ, Communion, church bread, etc.

I really need a stick of gum, I have some rancid Jesus Breath.

by THEOREOKING December 25, 2009

Jesus Jitters

A sports reporter's awkward, stammering reaction after a seemingly innocuous question is greeted with a completely unsolicited Bible-Thumping answer: see Erin Andrews' interview with Josh Hamilton at the 2009 MLB All-Star Game or any interview ever with Kurt Warner.

Susie Kolber: Kurt, I see that you are wearing new cleats tonight, any comment?

Kurt Warner: Without the grace of our risen Lord Jesus Christ there would be no cleatts, praise His name.

Susie Kolber: yes...umm...of course...uhhh...back to you Berman!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Jesus Jitters!

by rak5877 July 13, 2009