Assing the Lobster

The sadomasochistic act of inserting a live lobster into one's anus, prior to anal intercourse.

The aim of "Assing the Lobster" is for the penetrator to achieve orgasm without having their penis irreparably mutilated by the increasingly agitated lobster that is residing the host's rectum.

This incredibly reckless sexual act usually ends up with the host dying of internal haemorrhaging and the partner severely injured and mentally scarred. The lobster is generally indifferent once released from the host's devastated bunghole. 100% Would. Not. recommended.
"Karen made me play assing the lobster last night. My cock looks like fucking slinky now."

"Jeez, man. Fuck Karen!" ...

"That was the problem! At least she's dead now"
by zoidburg_is_not_a_fan September 18, 2019
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lobster legs

when you get red lobster-like legs from sunburn
"put some sun cream on or you'll get lobster legs !"
by Clawcracker May 08, 2016
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lobster energy

similar to bde, or big dick energy. a scale of to 20 based on how close you are in body type to larry the lobster, extra points if you live by the sea.
daniel: damn rate my lobster energy
katherine: send a pic
daniel: *sends pic*
katherine: damn you're an absolute 20
by CatPersun December 22, 2020
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Stealth-Lobster

A strange Dutch variation of a StealthLobster...However this version has 1 extra chromosome, making it somewhat different..
Bob "Look at that guy playing playstation on the couch"

Joe "Wow, ive never seen a StealthLobster like that before it must be a Stealth-Lobster"
by StealthLobster November 07, 2009
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Lobster Hog

A misshapen penis with large floppy lips like a lobster’s claw.
Ew, Ignacio has a big ole Lobster Hog.
by Chimp-Arm April 25, 2024
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LOBSTER CLIT

Someone who has recently been extremely overly sexually active or is a wicked whore will likely have a lobster clit. So rub that one on your tits, bub, cause that's just a fact.
My buddy Dave told me a crazy story while on the skiddah, and I'm telling ya this will blow your freakin tits apart. Said Brandy has the biggest lobster clit that Dave has ever seen, she better lay off the liquid panty remover, I tell you what
by MOMMANATRIX November 18, 2022
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Scandinavian lobster

A person of Scandinavian descent who stayed outside too long and got a harsh red tan.
Wow! How long were you outside? You look like a Scandinavian lobster!
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