I'm on COVID

The universally proffered excuse for failing to show up for work, meet a project deadline or generally suck at meeting the current demands of existence.

Wasn't that work product due 2 weeks ago?
Are you coming to work today?
Why is your mortgage payment 3 weeks late?
Universal response: Cain't, I'm on COVID.

by YAWA January 27, 2022

COVID-21

A provisional name given to the natural circumstances related to the virus causing COVID-19, SARS-CoV-2. It relates to the mutation nature of the original strain in the form of how viral organisms being to cause replication errors over time (especially prevalent when having many hosts which exponentially increases the mutation rate) into when the new mutated form of the virus becomes more transmissible or even resistant to current antibodies, treatments, and vaccinations, to which it begins to outcompete other forms of the same virus to become a variant through a process known as natural selection. These variants are most commonly due to an inequity within the distribution of vaccination regimens to prevent COVID-19 and severe symptoms and death. Large wide-scale inoculations will curve this effect until herd immunity is achieved.

Medical Journal: “The new variant of SARS-CoV-2 is thought to be more transmissible.”
The Public: “It’s COVID-21.”

by MedicinePlus July 6, 2021

COVID vaca

When someone at work wants some time off and fakes symptoms of COVID (temp, cough, congestion) in order to get extended days off. Usually done around holidays or other days off. Remarkably when they person tests negative and has to return to work they have symptoms for the first hour of work; then forget to fake it later and sound perfectly fine later in the shift.

"They were complaining they couldn't get a day off so they took a "COVID vaca".

by Nature nerd January 5, 2021

Covid Conscious

Being aware of your surroundings and cautious of covid-19

Dave wears his mask and stays 6 feet away from others because he is covid conscious

by iamanthonydean June 16, 2020

Covid-bitch

The person you hang out with frequently during the pandemic. If either one of you gets covid, the other one will definitely get it as well.

Person 1: 'Wanna share a cigarette?'
Person 2: 'No way man, that's not Corona-proof at all!'
Person 1: 'Whatever, you're my covid-bitch anyway.'
Person 2: 'And you're mine.'

by TraumaTranny October 24, 2020

Schlong covid

Another name for monkey pox, a disease mainly contracted by gay men participating in gay orgies and looks like a rash of genital warts all over your face and body

You know that dude Rick? He got the schlong covid when he was getting his butthole worked on by a bunch hairy bears over at the Manhole bathhouse in Chinatown.

by Barry Assman August 5, 2022

Covid-🦇

When bats are believed to be the vector of the coronavirus to humans, which was first detected in a Wuhan lab in China, until a cover-up was no longer possible as whistleblowers risked their lives to report the rising number of infected and dead people to the outside world.

Fake leaders around the world never fail to scapegoat Covid-🦇 to rationalize the high number of infections and deaths in their own countries rather than because of their ineptitude or poor leadership in containing the pandemic crisis.

by MathPlus September 25, 2020