by Uncorrupt January 22, 2024
Get the Nothing gets past my bowmug. Definition:
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
“He’s not just a deadbeat — he’s a Creep Creeping Past Expiration.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
by Roxx Farron June 6, 2025
Get the Creep Creeping Past Expirationmug. After a night of drinking and you wake up with 10 unread messages from friends and family. you where visited by "the Ghost of Yesterday Night's Past"
by BOBBYKANG May 13, 2020
Get the the Ghost of Yesterday Night's Pastmug. by RiceCumball May 22, 2022
Get the Pastelimug. by KTCTtown May 27, 2008
Get the past your peakmug. "Ayo the pizza here."
*runs downstairs and trips*
"OH NIGGA"
*yelling in pain as I fall down the stairs*
" augh my ears burn"
Then, he’s gonna take you back to the past and he’ll order you to never order a pizza again from your consequences…
*runs downstairs and trips*
"OH NIGGA"
*yelling in pain as I fall down the stairs*
" augh my ears burn"
Then, he’s gonna take you back to the past and he’ll order you to never order a pizza again from your consequences…
by TheFuckinNerd February 22, 2022
Get the He’s gonna take you back to the pastmug. Term for most mayonnaise-based salads particularly popular amongst the Baby Boomer generation, and oftentimes consumer at picnics, such as potato salad, chicken salad, egg salad, etc, etc.
Looks like dad’s eating a Boomer Paste sandwich for the third time this week! Everything else is too spicy for him:
by Booool April 13, 2021
Get the Boomer Pastemug.