Woody Towel

A woody towel is the bar rag male bartenders tuck in the front of the britches supposedly for wiping off their hands. In reality it is to cover their "wood" as in "I would love to..." when face to face with a hottie or face to flesh with a pair of mounds more than a mouthful. It conveniently covers the bulge, re-adjustment, as well as subtle massage in an inconspicious manner under the guise of wiping one's hands.

With the nipples pressing to escape the fabric in front of the bartender's eyes, the bar rag in the back pocket was subtley switched to the front, thus becoming a woody towel.

by BigRedBeast May 13, 2011

Towel

An insignificant, waste of space human being that honestly just pisses anyone off. He or she bring absolutely nothing to the table. Not one redeeming quality.

Jessica sucks major wang, I've had a better conversation with a toaster. She's a major towel.

by Itsericahaha August 3, 2016

smells like a wet towel

an idiomatic phrase insinuating that the subject has some quality that is not appealing to the senses; not to be construed literally

That bar smells like a wet towel.

by AnubisIbizu February 20, 2020

Lisa left the paper towel

When a hard working individual distracts another hard working individual with a mofo paper towel...

"Lisa left the paper towel!"

Information was written, but they couldn't write their information fast enough because Lisa left the g-d d-mn paper towel!

by Handy ManWell February 5, 2021

Poopy Towel

Full of themselves and their body suffers from it, always want it their way even if it makes no sense. Usually big jerks. (usually the type of people you see at a trampoline park)

That Jorgan is sure a poopy towel. I wish he would just get some excercise and shut up.

by Kingdom Miracle November 29, 2020

soggy towel

A Debbie Downer who is a total damper on the party. Frequently used by hip kids under 33 that are "with it".

That guy at the after party is such a soggy towel, he should just go home and walk his dog.

by SnoopSoggySogs April 27, 2014

Towel in the Hood

The practice of padding out the inside of a condom with wads of toilet paper or Kleenex because the woman's vaj is so stretched out you need a lot of bulk just to touch the sides.

You meeting up with her for secret lunch? Make sure you do the towel in the hood or she’s not going to feel a thing!

by thatsalotofdogs April 4, 2019