Like the great Shaolin Monks of the majestic Tibetan Monasteries, fap aficionados must go through incredible amounts of training and meditation to achieve seminal enlightenment.
Now, there are two key words that all fap aficionados must know: speed and endurance.
The average joe will often finish masturbating in 9-15 minutes, as studies show. However, a fap aficionado will be able to blow these times out of the water with a staggering 45 seconds-2 minutes (and that takes dedication!).
To be able to go so hard, the fap aficionado must learn how to endure the pain and sheer intensity of the “2-minute quickie”, as this is a very hard thing to do. One must exercise their hand muscles to the point of being able to crush an unripe walnut with one singular hand.
But this is not all, young child, the fap aficionado must also know how to do the fap and piss maneuver. This specific technique takes ages to master, and can cause the “doer” of the task extreme pain, or even nut shut.
With these skills and traits combined, anyone who has a penis can master their shaft and become one of the greats.
Now, there are two key words that all fap aficionados must know: speed and endurance.
The average joe will often finish masturbating in 9-15 minutes, as studies show. However, a fap aficionado will be able to blow these times out of the water with a staggering 45 seconds-2 minutes (and that takes dedication!).
To be able to go so hard, the fap aficionado must learn how to endure the pain and sheer intensity of the “2-minute quickie”, as this is a very hard thing to do. One must exercise their hand muscles to the point of being able to crush an unripe walnut with one singular hand.
But this is not all, young child, the fap aficionado must also know how to do the fap and piss maneuver. This specific technique takes ages to master, and can cause the “doer” of the task extreme pain, or even nut shut.
With these skills and traits combined, anyone who has a penis can master their shaft and become one of the greats.
Marv: Bro, you’ll never get done in time, the teacher’s gonna ask where you are!
Billy: Relax Marvin, I’m a fap aficionado, I can handle this.
Billy: Relax Marvin, I’m a fap aficionado, I can handle this.
by THE_00F_MAN November 18, 2019
Fuck off Mike. Your mother sat on a pile of cum on a toilet seat at a barn party back in '92 which consequently produced you. You're just a filthy fap bastard.
by JamieB123 November 01, 2014
"Go have a batty fap you battyfapper."
"Quit your battyfapping!" - Stop being an arse wanker.
The term Battyfapper may be used to describe the profession of male and female strippers, who parade their batty for the fapping pleasure of their audience.
"Quit your battyfapping!" - Stop being an arse wanker.
The term Battyfapper may be used to describe the profession of male and female strippers, who parade their batty for the fapping pleasure of their audience.
by MintJollyBoy January 05, 2012
When there's a power outage, but you printed out a bunch of nudes that you keep in a binder under your desk.
See also: Jerk-off unplugged
See also: Jerk-off unplugged
by Maxil April 05, 2017
When your access to porn is limited, you make due with what you can find. Sometimes, this may be from your Spank Bank, or may involve using a single gif as material.
Guy: I went over to Katie's for dinner yesterday. She looked so sexy.
Guy 2: Did y'all bang?
Guy: Yes, and it was amazing because I managed to get a Flutter Fap in beforehand.
Guy 2: Did y'all bang?
Guy: Yes, and it was amazing because I managed to get a Flutter Fap in beforehand.
by Jainz'd January 31, 2018
The act of overreacting so much to a minor situation that you have to masturbate to alleviate stress.
by Iamapie42 November 14, 2021
Brian had a kickass Freedom Fap after dumping Suzy.
After Clair broke up with Tom, she had a Freedom Fap and went to town with her vibrator
After Clair broke up with Tom, she had a Freedom Fap and went to town with her vibrator
by Pregnant Anne Frank November 03, 2019