Carson is a walking, talking cautionary tale usually found in a cloud of exhaust and burning motor oil, clutching the steering wheel of a 1998 Chevy Silverado that’s 60% rust, 30% Bondo, and 10% active fire hazard.
Treats starting grass fires with a road flare as “backyard landscaping.”
Considers a “patina” anything that isn’t currently on fire.
Has replaced every fluid in his truck with whatever was on sale at the gas station (current cocktail: 2-stroke oil, Monster Energy, and optimism).
Intelligence level hovers somewhere between “racoon with a lighter” and “guy who tries to weld with a cigarette.
Life motto: “If it ain’t on fire, it ain’t fixed.”
Treats starting grass fires with a road flare as “backyard landscaping.”
Considers a “patina” anything that isn’t currently on fire.
Has replaced every fluid in his truck with whatever was on sale at the gas station (current cocktail: 2-stroke oil, Monster Energy, and optimism).
Intelligence level hovers somewhere between “racoon with a lighter” and “guy who tries to weld with a cigarette.
Life motto: “If it ain’t on fire, it ain’t fixed.”
by Blaze McRustbucket December 11, 2025
Get the Carson mug.by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian April 28, 2025
Get the <.7.9.7.6.>Carson, carUson, carsoN<.7.9.7.6> mug.by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian April 28, 2025
Get the Carson, carUson, carsoN mug.Code for jorkin it. Usually mid-call, mid-chat, or mid-life crisis. Known to occur with 0 shame and a lot of moaning.
“Don’t join the call, he’s Carsoning it again.”
“Bro vanished for 5 mins and came back sweating — definitely Carsoning it.”
“Bro vanished for 5 mins and came back sweating — definitely Carsoning it.”
by sirhecker May 14, 2025
Get the Carsoning it mug.Carson has no aura
by CarsonHasNoAura June 9, 2025
Get the Carson mug.by afartthatbecameaqueef April 9, 2024
Get the carson rodke mug.Carson is the type of guy to leave you on delivered and then when you get left on open you want to snap him back. You’ll also see him play his sport and think he’s hot but in reality his personality isn’t. Matter of fact Carson’s end up being douchebags whose ego is bigger then their dick.But you’ll want to go back to him every time. Carson’s just end up being douchebags you wish you stayed away from. So here’s to Carson the toxic dirtbag you couldn’t stay away from.
by Daffybugs April 22, 2024
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