Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.
“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”
by Galaxy94 June 30, 2023
Get the Corporate Tortograph Theorymug. Corporate bulimia is when companies grow uncontrollably then inevitably layoff people when they miss their growth forecasts. They "binge" via aggressive hiring, acquisitions and mergers, only to then "purge" via planned and unplanned mass layoffs. Results in a perpetually demoralized, depressed and anxious staff of survivors who then repeat the process until eventually the company goes bankrupt or is sold for parts. Rarely a company actually survives this cycle, thereafter attempting to appear healthy to outsiders while employees continue to suffer in silence. The term is an analogy comparing the neurotic growth of companies to the devastating illness bulimia nervosa, an eating disorder. All-too-often found in vainglorious Silicon Valley growth-focused companies.
"Another ten thousand wage slave layoffs were announced today in the latest rounds of corporate bulimia."
by GarethBeaumains August 15, 2023
Get the Corporate bulimiamug. A six-pack marketed as a case. Corporate advertising that cynically misleads buyers into thinking they are getting more than they receive.
Contrary to the baker's dozen of 13 to encourage long-term loyalty, the corporate dozen provides less than that advertised for short-term gain. or: The baker's dozen is what we were, and the corporate dozen is what we have become.
by DrTortoise August 15, 2024
Get the Corporate dozenmug. A money-hungry corporation that stopped making good original content years ago and almost exclusively makes shitty live-action remakes of the movies from their glory days, with the exception of a few poorly written sequels of the few tolerable movies they’ve created in the past ten years.
by Peruki November 16, 2023
Get the The Walt Disney Corporationmug. by lab97 September 30, 2025
Get the Corporate Wormmug. A company with a locked-in group of manager(s) who are so terrible to work with that they drive all professional talent away, and new applicants drop off.
by iaminhellhelpme June 26, 2024
Get the Scarecrow Corporationmug. An individual employee at a Fortune 500 company that exceeds the bar within their respective role all while being the baddest bitch in AND outside the office 💅🏾
Dashawn works for a big tech company and is always on his grind. Accolades on accolades left to right! I see him on IG traveling, shaking ass. Ugh such a Corporate Baddie!
by NYC Truth July 28, 2023
Get the Corporate Baddiemug.