Meconium Clout Syndrome

When the sperm donor (father) of a moments-old newborn baby is far to preoccupied with posting photos and videos of himself and his exhausted, disheveled baby-mama to give a single visible shit about their newborn child, her welfare or the enormity of this moment in his life. Not infrequently he is making jokes about the birthing process and how he was like "no F-ing way" the whole time and how grossed out he was, "like you can't even believe the mess the birth process makes- so glad somebody's going to clean that up- like seriously, man!" Meconium Clout Syndrome has a very high mortality rate, almost always under very suspicious circumstances.

OB: Congratulations Mom and Dad!! She's a beautiful healthy baby girl and she's all yours!!!
Mom: She's beautiful!!! Aiden, look at your new daughter- she's perfect!
Father: staring into his phone Ok everybody, she just had the baby- like she was screaming and it was so gross- like an alien just squirted out of her- she's a total mess right now- let me get a shot of her pans phone towards mom who looks away and covers her face in embarrassment and exhaustion C'mon babe- smile for my followers!! Look over here! This is going to be the BEST video I've ever posted... This is going to be SO epic!!!
OB: looks at neonatologist} Textbook Meconium Clout Syndrome- a pretty serious case- I'm not sure this guy is going to survive once they get home...

by Asclepius Minora February 15, 2023

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