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The Unfortunate Event

When your significant other, unbeknownst to you, reveals to his/her friends that you have never made them orgasm.
Person 1:"Dude, did you know that Henry's girlfriend Yasmin did The Unfortunate Event?"

Person 2: "Holy shit! I would not want to be in his shoes right now."

Person 1: "Yeah, he must be really embarrassed. Didn't know that he was such a incompetent buffoon in bed."
by xxxx1xxxxxxx March 2, 2021
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An Unfortunate Homeless Man

Person 1: Is that guy putting that other guy in a Milwaukee Sarcophagus?
Person 2: Dang, that sucks. I think he's homeless too.
Person 1: Well isn't that an Unfortunate Homeless Man
by Khanituss February 25, 2021
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Unfortunity

An unfortunate opportunity. Can be used to describe opportunistic events where the outcome ends up being less fortunate than expected.
A: Janet had sex with Edgar.
B: What an unfortunity since they didn't find out they were cousins until after the family reunion.
by Zeus Aurel August 19, 2020
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Poor unfortunate souls

Term used to describe unlucky people who are in pain and need of assistance due to an issue eating away at them.
They come flocking to anyone willing and able to help them, no matter past reputation, and without checking for ulterior motives.
See also: Cryto Bro, MLM, Alternative Medicine
"Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying "Spells Ursula, please!"
And I help them
Yes I do!
by MrDrEdward April 13, 2024
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facialy unfortunate

by asdjfhkgjutritdjg March 3, 2016
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Unfortunitis

(Noun)

A series of unfortunate events or circumstances that seem to happen one after another, causing feelings of frustration, despair, and humor all at once.
"After losing my job, getting a flat tire, and spilling coffee on my shirt all in the same day, I realized I was experiencing a serious case of unfortunitis and decided to treat myself to a giant ice cream sundae."
by Microscopic Galaxy March 23, 2023
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