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plastique surgery

What Achmed ended up performing on himself when he inadvertently hit da detonation-button on Hassan's bomb.
No matter how severe or colossal dat you perceive your degree of unattractiveness, there should be no need to resort to plastique surgery --- modern-day medical wizardly offers far-safer and less-drastic methods of improving one's looks!
by QuacksO March 1, 2025
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Plastiocene

Plastiocene (noun):
The current synthetic epoch in Earth’s history, characterized by the rise of petroleum-born life forms, microplastic DNA entanglement, and the global worship of single-use gods. Defined by layers of Tupperware, Barbie limbs, dental floss, and cigarette filters fossilized in ocean sediment and toddler intestines.
The age of plastic will be known as the Plastiocene
by PlutoKrazo July 18, 2025
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Plastiocene

Plastiocene

/PLAS-tee-oh-seen/ (noun)
The current unofficial epoch in Earth's geologic timeline, marked by the overwhelming presence of plastic in every ecosystem, organism, and orifice. A synthetic age of denial, brought to you by disposable culture, microwave convenience, and Karenian rituals of consumption.

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🗿Definition:

An era defined by polymer saturation—where rain, breast milk, snowflakes, sea salt, and even your dreams test positive for microplastics. In the Plastiocene, the planet is a landfill with Wi-Fi. Humans are host organisms for garbage with credit scores.

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🧽 Used in a sentence:

> “We’re not in the Anthropocene anymore, grandma—we’re deep in the Plastiocene. Eat your microplastic cornflakes and say thank you.”
> “We’re not in the Anthropocene anymore, grandma—we’re deep in the Plastiocene. Eat your microplastic cornflakes and say thank you.”
by PlutoKrazo July 19, 2025
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PLASTIOCEAN

PLASTIOCEAN (n.)

/ˈplas-tee-oh-shən/
1. The vast, synthetic sea we now swim in—internally and externally.
2. A planet-wide brine of microbeads, detergent foam, and fish with polyethylene pupils.
3. The new amniotic fluid of Earth, teeming not with life, but with legacy polymers.

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> “You can’t un-swallow the Plastiocean.
You can only learn to drift in its flavor.”

> “We don’t live near the Plastiocean anymore—we are it.”
> “You can’t un-swallow the Plastiocean.
You can only learn to drift in its flavor.”

> “We don’t live near the Plastiocean anymore—we are it.”
by Heymuse July 24, 2025
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Plastulence

Plastulence
noun
The planet’s long, slow plastic fart.
What happens when billions of tons of plastic quietly crumble into micro- and nano-particles and drift through everything forever.
Example:
“We banned plastic straws but now we live inside the plastulence.”
“We banned plastic straws but now we live inside the plastulence.”
by Heymuse January 2, 2026
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plastulence

plastulence
Definition: Something punchy like:
"The silent but deadly release of microplastic particles into the environment from everyday synthetic items, like clothing, furniture, or packaging."
(Feel free to tweak it—make it funnier or more savage if you want.)
Example:
"Every time I wash my fleece jacket, I'm contributing major plastulence to the ocean."
OR
"That new car smell? Pure plastulence from the dashboard off-gassing microplastics."
"That new car smell? Pure plastulence from the dashboard off-gassing microplastics."
by Heymuse January 2, 2026
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Plastiocene Futulier

Plastiocene Futulier
plastiocene futulier
noun
A practitioner who designs and seeds future cultural, material, and conceptual tools for life in the Plastiocene era — a world defined by plastic, synthetic systems, and irreversible human impact.
Example:
“He’s not just an eco-artist or a futurist — he’s a Plastiocene futulier, building rituals and tools for the world we’ve already made.”
“He’s not just an eco-artist or a futurist — he’s a Plastiocene futulier, building rituals and tools for the world we’ve already made.”
by Heymuse January 2, 2026
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