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oakland county

Oakland County: Located in southeast michigan, where drugs, sex, and alcohol are a vital part of reality. Where kids learn superficiality in both the amazing public schools and the overpriced private acadamies, where you can charge a slice of pizza on plastic, spend your weekends at Somerset and on Old Woodward, where there are more country clubs than supermarkets and more hookah bars than gas stations. The houses wrap around entire streets, porche driving soccer moms pop their collars, and nobody even cares about the west coast (although the summer homes are nice). It's where the only thing we have more of than money is drama, where kids are all about drugs because they don't know what else to buy, and where finding a virgin in the high schools is like finding a needle in a haystack, where we drink faygo pop, drive GM, Ford, and Chrysler cars, eat Better Made potato Chips, and go to Windsor on the weekends, just because we can.
Only the oakland county girls can pull off an east-coast tailgate and then actually understand the football game.
by magsssss December 9, 2007
mugGet the oakland countymug.

Oakland Township

An outskirt openland full of big houses and rich brats.
by Dani Skinnahhhhhhhh August 5, 2008
mugGet the Oakland Townshipmug.

oakland doorknob

fisting someone's asshole
gave 'er the ol' oakland doorknob.... couldn't walk straight for weeks
by a ly August 12, 2006
mugGet the oakland doorknobmug.

Oakland Raiders

he Oakland Raiders are a controversial NFL team reviled by "higher class" haters. They are loved by the Raider Nation, which consists of football fans who are intense, passionate individuals with chips on their shoulders. The Raiders have always insisted on doing things their way, playing with a lot of heart, and winning and succeeding in spite of their own foolish mistakes. To be a Raider is to defeat opponents sheerly based on your iron will, mental toughness, and true grit.

Perennial underdogs who revel in proving their critics wrong, the Raiders and their fans have a rich tradition of embracing former castoffs like Jim Plunkett and Rich Gannon and turning them into gunslinging, weatherbeaten winners.

The Raiders also have the best and most meaningful team slogans, "Pride and Poise," "Just Win, Baby," "Commitment to Excellence," and "Just Cut It Loose." For more information on the Oakland Raiders, check out the team's official anthem, "The Autumn Wind", which truly describes what it means to be a Raider.
Broncos Fan: Dude, the Oakland Raiders suck! Why are you still rooting for these losers?!!Go Broncos!!

Oakland Raider Fan: Win, lose, or tie, I'm a Raider 'til I die.

Next Day....

Broncos Fan: Hey can we not talk about football today?

Oakland Raiders Fan: Why because you're butt-hurt that the Raiders raped your donkeys in front of your own fans? 59-14 baby!!!! Suck on that, Run DMC all day baby!!! Donkeys suck!!!!
by paynasty23 December 29, 2010
mugGet the Oakland Raidersmug.

Oakland, Pittsburgh

prop. n. a huge neighborhood in Pittsburgh, located in the city's East End, just east of Downtown and the Hill District. Oakland is Pittsburgh's most historic area, and is dominated by the University of Pittsburgh, Carnegie Mellon University, and several UPMC hospitals. It is also where the Carnegie Library, Phipps Conservatory, Schenely Park, and Central Catholic may be found. Oakland is incredibly diverse, ranging from the student ghetto of South Oakland to the million-dollar estates at Schenely Farms in Central Oakland.

During the school year, there are inexhaustible options of what to do in Oakland, including parties, bars, and the O. When school is out, the streets are dead.
"I live in Oakland." "Wow, just move to SF." "Not the Californian city! Geez, I live in the real Oakland -- Oakland, Pittsburgh!"
by Col. Hans Landa August 1, 2011
mugGet the Oakland, Pittsburghmug.

Oakland Raiders

A team of delinquents, reprobates, malcontents, and blowhards that are the scourge of the NFL. Most veterans play for the Raiders because they're washed up and no other reputable team would touch them with a ten foot pole.

It is unclear which is more woeful. Their record of recent years or their ironic catch phrase of "Committment to Excellence".

See fucktard
Daughter: Daddy, what's a synonym for loser?

Father: There are lots of them honey, but the one that best describes would be the Oakland Raiders.

Daughter: Is it true that the Raiders suck?

Father: In every way possible. :)
by Fouts is God May 15, 2006
mugGet the Oakland Raidersmug.

Oakland crosswalk

An Oakland crosswalk is an invisible crosswalk which a resident of Oakland, CA uses to cross any part of a busy street while giving zero fucks about the cars speeding by. This is often performed with the mindset of having the right of way.
Driver: Hey look at that asshole crossing MLK in the middle of the street! Doesn't he know he's gonna get hit?

Passenger: You idiot, can't you see he's using an Oakland crosswalk?
by Hal A. Madrid March 28, 2017
mugGet the Oakland crosswalkmug.

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