spend like a drunken sailor on shore leave

To spend a lot of money at any one given time; taken from the fact that sailors, while on shore leave, used to spend all of their money on whores and alcoholic beverages

I stopped letting my wife use the credit card. Every time she goes to the mall, she spends like a drunken sailor on shore leave!

by Pissed Off Paul October 7, 2003

mike drunkbeater

Mike Drunkbeater is a professional redneck-style comedian. He performs as part of The Redneck Comedy Tour with Stink Fleaman, Walt Abernathy, and Larry, the guy who works for the department of water and power.

He is well known for his famous quote, "Oh that dog of mine!"

Mike Drunkbeater is coming to town!
Oh that dog of mine!

by KaBoom January 24, 2014

Drunken Kleptomania

Waking up hungover after a heavy night of drinking, often including blackouts and puking the superb act of being trashed - awakening to find a bunch of items that you don't actually own, on your drawers.

These are drunk trophies, memorabilia from the night before. Unfortunately as you pick them up the memories often don't come back, why do I have this mascara set on my desk? Whose keys are these? Why is this screw driver here?

If you've asked any of these questions you have been a victim (or more so abuser) of Drunken Kleptomania. Simply put, drunken kleptomania is a state in which you steal shit and bring it back, but you were drunk, so drunk in fact that you don't remember how you procured said shit.

FACT: 67% of men have participated in drunken kleptomania.

John woke up, it was Sunday - Bloody Sunday he thought as his head felt like someone was putting it in a vice set like in Casino, only this was a four-way pressure clusterfuck squeezing the scrambled mess of hungover brains. His eyes burned as he let out a mighty grunt. Suddenly his eyes opened a bit wider, the pain subsiding as a subtle "What the fuck" blurted out.

There he clumsily stood, gawking at what was his room. He noticed the new construction sign that was broken through the dry wall. The lipstick that was on the bureau and the amassed set of keys. He examined the keys and lipstick with peculiar intrigue...

"Wha, When the fuck did I get this?"

The memories from last night were not coming back, He remembered leaving the party, and the beer bong an hour before that, but nothing in between or after. Just then his roommate came into the room.

"Dude, you were so fucked last night..."

Little did John know, but he had participated in the greatest robbery, the largest collection of Drunken Kleptomania since 1974.

by Jimblor April 7, 2009

Drunken recall

When you learn something while drunk and can't remember what you learned until you get drunk again.

sober guy: Damn I can't remember the way we were drunk last time

Drunk guy: Don't worry I remember how to get there, with Drunken recall

by 0ushiza February 6, 2010

Drunken Donuts

A nickname for 24-hour "Dunkin' Donuts" stores when used as a haven after a long night of drinking. Often used to nap and sober up until morning.

"I got really wasted last night. I woke up at like 8:00am at Drunken Donuts."

by Ray-Z January 17, 2006

drunkfession

noun; confession made when under the influence of alcohol. Often made to friends, but also arises between enemies. Drunkfessions normally reveal hidden intentions/feelings of people.

It turns out Steve told everyone he made out with his cousin during a drunkfession he had at the last party.

by Joseph Alexander July 20, 2008

drunken kung fu

A style of Kung Fu that tricks the opponent into thinking the practitioner is drunk. It's a gracious style, that has sudden attacks in the movements. The practitioner falls, sways, etc all to give the illusion he cannot fight

That guy is gonna get his ass kicked , he's pissed

No he won't , he knows drunken kung fu

by rookybeats December 24, 2008