Home Defense Musket

A copypasta talking about the use of american revolution weaponry as home defense weaponry

Home Defense Musket: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

by Fueled by adhd November 11, 2021

Joy Reid defense

A quasi legal but technologically illiterate attempt to blame embarrassing or incriminating social media or blogging activity on 'hacking' by a sophisticated, imaginary third party. E.g:
“I learned that an unknown, external party accessed and manipulated material from my now-defunct blog, The Reid Report, to include offensive and hateful references that are fabricated and run counter to my personal beliefs and ideology,”

A: hey so as you know I'm totally stoked about running for office this fall but it turns out some random guy 'hacked' my Facebook and posted a bunch of racist shit like 5 years ago but I only just noticed now.
B: ok but that seems kind of implausible so did that actually happen or are you just Joy Reid defense'ing me right now?
A: ...

by McFly. Brundle McFly September 4, 2018

defensive cockblock

Act of interfering with someone who is kicking it to your piece.

Jim was all over my woman, so I had to defensive cockblock all night.

by j May 13, 2005

Bill O'Reily Defense

When faced with an irrefutable point, start talking out of your ass and when your opponent attempts to call you out on it say "let me finish" and then when it's their turn to talk yell over them until the show goes to commercial.

Some Guy: Bill, last week on your show you said that Britney Spears was a ruthless whore, and yet you defend Sarah Palin's daughter
*Bill employs the Bill O'Reily Defense*
Bill: Well that is absolutely taking things out of context and these two things are in no way related to each other at all and I for one am appalled that you'd resort to such trivial things like taking what I said last week and relating it to what I am saying this week
Some Guy: well actually that's-
Bill O'Reily: let me finish. so you need to take a look in the mirror and stop making such wild claims like what you've just said.
Some Guy: What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Bill O'Reily during the above statement: HAOIUSDFHOIASHFOIJWAEPOIFHASOIDFHAOISDHFOPIASJHDFPOIJABOIJFDOIAHBJFDPVOIAJDFIOJ
cut to commercial

by falcon176 January 16, 2009

Sex Defender

Someone who practices consensual sex (opposite of sex offender)

"Are you a sex defender?"
"Yea, consent is poggers!"

by GiornoGiovanna January 4, 2021

defenestrate

to throw out a window

Larry pissed me off, so I defenestrated him off the thirty-first floor. What a mess.

by Daniel December 8, 2002

The Lotion Defense

A term used to defend the presence of light white stains on a womens black yoga pants. Much like the Toothpaste Defense.

Hey Babe is that Jizz on the back of your yoga pants? No its body lotion! The Lotion Defense.

by Chuck Clark September 16, 2012