jesus take me to the playoffs

When you can’t make the playoffs in madden so you ask Jesus to take you to the playofffs after Jesus floats magesticly down naked and says “if you want to be taken to the play offs the play offs gotta be taken to you” and then you say ok Jesus do what you gotta do and then he says “ good cause I’m gonna FUCK YOU LIKE I FUCKED THAT PIG” *looks at pig * “oh my god it’s in half was it like that when you fucked it” Jesus says “no” then you ask “how long is it” then Jesus responds in a soft soothing voice “ longer than the pig”

I screamed jesus take me to the playoffs and then Jesus floated down and fucked me with a cock longer than a pig

by Long john slider October 17, 2017

"Take me to wasted town"

'Wanting to get drunk'

"Take me to wasted town" (Give me those beers)
or "I'm going to wasted town" (I'm getting drunk tonight)
or "I'm in wasted town" (I'm Drunk).

Can be used for many needs. For example:
"Take me to doughnut town" (Pass me a doughnut).

Your friends at the bar, so u say "take me to wasted town", so your friend gets you a beer.

by Mark Harsley December 28, 2007

Take a dump on me

A request you ask of a friend or stranger when you are having such a bad day that the only thing that could make it worse is someone actually emptying their bowels onto you.

Wesley: Dude its too bad that you forgot to wear clothes on school picture day, now your ding-dong's gonna be in the yearbook.
Ben: Take a dump on me!
Wesley: Okay!

by Gunlockben January 28, 2011

take me up the shard

Meaning: To be treated to a day up in t'smoke, in particular a visit to The Shard

'Take me up The Shard............My boss promised that if we made a profit he would 'Take us up the Shard'

by Cheffy14 February 7, 2018

Take me up the north mountain

To take up the north mountain :-
1. As a skilled mountaineer you can take someone up the north mountain to help them end an eternal winter.

2. To fuck someone in the ass.

ANNA SAID TO KRISTOFF " TAKE ME UP THE NORTH MOUNTAIN, NOW!"

by ALEXOUS1 May 14, 2018

you'll never take me alive

When you are so bad ass you'd rather go out in style then give up the fight.

person 1: stop it
person 2: no
person 1: shut da fuck up
person 2: you'll never take me alive

by A certain Soul Reaper April 25, 2017

what do you take me for

What sort of person do you think i am?

Go guns blazing?,what do you take me for,an idiot?

by 007 Styx October 28, 2017