squat cobbler

A type of art form that involves a fully clothed person sitting in pies. The performer is also known to cry during the performance.

Also known as a Full Moon Moon Pie, Boston Creme Spat, Simple Sign In The Ass Man, and Dutch Apple Ass.

Jimmy: Mr Daniel Wormald was known for his squat cobbler.

by IJustWatchedThis September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

The erotic act of a male squatting to dip his genitalia into a freshly baked pie or cobbler.

Clay: "Damn, my balls are sticky and covered in blueberries this morning."
Billy: "Yeah, you got toasted and ended up being a fucking squat cobbler last night."

by TheMaDsQuatter August 30, 2016

Squat cobbler

Fetish whereas sexual gratification is achieved by sitting on pies and or pastries. Cream pies and meringues are the most commonly used for safety reasons.

Kim:What's your turn on baby?
Sal: I'm a squat cobbler.
Kim: That's hot. Let me get you a French Silk pie.

by Clive Bixby September 3, 2016

Squat Cobbler

Noun. When a pie is desecrated by bare human buttocks. Situation made worse when said human is crying

He has a private video stash of himself doing crying squat cobbler for another man.

by SquigglySquid September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

A fetish that involves a man who sits in a pie and "wiggles around."

I had a very nice apple pie cooling on the window sill but, instead of Yogi Bear, the creepy neighbor Jerry got it. He's a squat cobbler.

by Wormald August 5, 2016

squat cobbler

When a man sits in pie and wiggles around. Sometimes involves crying and/or a costume.

"My last partner had a squat cobbler fetish, I've had my ass in every pie from apple to zucchini."

by slippinjimmy September 1, 2016

squat cobbler

A man who sits in a pie and wiggles around for sexual arousal.

"I bet that Randy is a Squat Cobbler "

by Whoretism August 29, 2016