spanner monkey

A largely useless individual whose only career prospects are to work in maintainence departments painting walls and replacing light-bulbs. May have questionable habits such as an excess love of porn, language that would make a soldier blush and a equally useless son.

"Why can't one of those spanner monkeys come up here to fix the lights?"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

Spanner Dog

A Spanner Dog refers to those of the human species that are well below the average intelligence. A Spanner Dog will resemble a mouthbreathing, dough banging idiot of a bloke. Common traits include vacant looks, low levels of comprehension, mouth agape, drooling, possible lazy eye.

“God, that Richie is a real Spanner Dog”

“Swing the gate back the other way, you spanner dog”

“You’re being a real spanner dog, just

by Spanner dog January 10, 2020

spanner eyes

A girl whose eyes are so sexy that when you look into them you can't help but get a raging lob-on.

Boy: Can I call you "spanner eyes"?
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cos every time I look into them me nuts tighten

by nimbyfield August 23, 2007

Jam spanner

Noun, description of penis erect.

I used my jam spanner on her, sweet!

by my cat snores too much January 13, 2010

YouTube Spanner

Someone who grows up in the era of YouTube and doesn't have an attention span longer than three minutes of a unicorn getting its organs removed.

Me:Hey Andrew do you wanna go see No Country For Old Men it won like 50 oscars.
Andrew:No man that movies too long i have to sit here and watch 5 minute movies of a guy playing a double fretted guitar for 13 and a half hours.
Me: You Are a fucking YouTube spanner

by JEWROFOSHO October 18, 2008

Spanner Rash

"Spanner rash" is a UK term given to the cuts, bruises, blisters and other wounds you can get from working on the insides of a car, (a spanner is an English word for a wrench).

A mechanic would usually get spanner rash.

Changing the exhaust gave me terrible spanner rash.

by Ultim@te ED February 27, 2008

cock spanner

A person that uses their genitals as a source of income!
The bread winner of the house (also a porn star) is known as a cock-spanner!

That Ron Jeremy (the famous pornstar) is a real Cock spanner!!

by Ryan Neil September 7, 2006