Representing the pint-sized personification of manlet rage and standing shockingly small at 5 foot nothing, Chris "Bagel Boss" Morgan rose to short-lived infamy when he threw a hissy fit extraordinaire at a Long Island Bagel Boss in 2019. After falsely claiming that the friendly female cashier had smirked at his comically dwarfed height, Chris "Sissy Manlet" Morgan was recorded by amused onlookers as he was instantly overwhelmed by manlet rage and went on a childish tirade, furiously ranting about how women (understandably) hate him due to his sensationally stunted stature and egregiously evident Napoleon complex. Subsequently to being asked by a much taller customer to calm down and grow up, the rageaholic turbo-manlet petulantly proclaimed: "Shut your mouth! You're not God, or my father, or my boss!" - only to then transform into a tiny, little hamster when a heroic manmore made short work of the midget monstrosity and tackled him. Helpful height enthusiasts later found his now defunct YouTube channel featuring many similar videos which triggered an escalating series of well-deserved trolling sagas, eventually culminating in the Bagel Boss Manlet being cut down to size (more so than he naturally was) and thereby stopped short of realizing his delusional dream of following in the microscopic footsteps of ill-famed celebrity turbo-manlets such as Tiny Tom Cruise and Kevin "Homunculus" Hart by becoming just another high heels wearing comic relief Hollywood Oompa Loompa manlet.
Materialistic manlet: WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HIGH HEELS?! Manmore: Cease your manletspeak and don't go Bagel Boss Manlet on me. Here, bounce around on this stress ball and dry your tiny tears with this tampon, you silly, little manlet boy.
by ManletDepreciator September 18, 2024
Get the Bagel Boss Manlet mug.The barnyard manlet, also known as the cabbage patch manlet, is a microscopically minuscule misanthropic manlet who has been so completely and utterly driven to madness by the devastatingly deadly disability of manletism (the catastrophically crippling curse of excruciatingly and eternally existing as a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10), that he now indulges in a countryside lifestyle by frolicking around like the tiny fairy that he is in barnyards while wearing flowery and frilly summer dresses and high heels. Quickly adapting to his new environment, akin to the stunted sub-aquatic murloc manlet, the bitterly boyish barnyard manlet is always eager to please his superlatively superior, supremely magnificent manmore farmer overlord by enthusiastically serving as a chew toy for the towering farmer's guard dogs, as a garden gnome (naturally), a doorstop, a leg rest, a spittoon and as a Stalinesquely stunted hobbit scarecrow after rightfully receiving a hanging wedgie from a laughing pig named Napoleon and then sobbingly dangling for hours on end suspended by his pink panties from a toothpick embedded in a field in the middle of nowhere. Manlet Animal Farm. In his spare time the barnyard manlet enjoys mud wrestling chickens (before having his way with them) and chugging down copious amounts of Hobbit Ale (made from fermented rabbit poop and petty-dwarf roots) mixed with horse semen (in the desperate hope of finally triggering a growth spurt), as is the dwarven tradition.
Barnyard manlet: Hey there sweet cheeks, do you wanna buy some of my Hobbit Ale? Samantha: Absolutely not! Now cease your tall tales manletspeak, choke on your enema juice, posture check yourself, pick up your high heels and then go cry in the nearest manlet pit, you grotesquely gnomish, petite and puny, ridiculous runt of an effeminate Ewok mama's boy midget monstrosity! Manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 2, 2024
Get the barnyard manlet mug.The mobbed-up manlet, also known as the mafia manlet, is a diminutively stunted member or associate of the Italian-American Mafia. The aptly named, 5ft5 small, Nicodemo "Little Nicky" Scarfo, who blunderously served as boss of the Philadelphia Mafia from 1981 to 1990, perfectly exemplifies the deeply flawed and Napoleon complex-driven nature of the mobbed-up manlet. This treacherous and terminally insecure manlet boy ordered the cowardly 1984 murder of his best friend and six-foot tall mafia captain Salvatore Testa because Little Nicky was catastrophically jealous of Testa's superlatively superior height and the resultant fact that Salvatore Testa was beloved, widely respected and admired as a real man, while Little Nicky was forever doomed to be looked down upon as the petite and utterly insignificant sissy manlet that he was.
Why are those mobbed-up manlets crying tiny tears of manlet rage in front of that strip club over there? The minuscule manlets tried to shake the club down for protection money but the bouncers didn't allow the silly mafia manlets inside because they understandably assumed the stunted manlets to be children. Lol, manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator August 19, 2024
Get the mobbed-up manlet mug.The cerebrally and physically stunted myopic manlet is a microscopic mental midget of a minuscule manlet boy, who shortsightedly sees only the literally subhuman suffering of his own small-minded dwarven kind because, due to his eternal inability to grow up and be the bigger man, big picture thinking goes right over his pea-brained, little head. Deceased myopic manlets can often be found squashed flat as a pancake on country roads next to their close relative the, by comparison majestic, toad. Myopic manlets can easily be driven to venting their pent-up manlet rage and throwing a hissy fit with innocent questions and observations, such as: "Manlet detected.", "Nice high heels, my girlfriend has the same pair.", "Are you classified as a turbo-manlet? How tall are you?", "Aren't you the midget who played the manletservant Nick Nack in The Man with the Golden Gun?"
Manmore 1: Hey, why is that little girl crying in front of that beauty salon? Manmore 2: Myopic manlet detected. I think his new acrylic nails broke off when he got mauled by that chihuahua over there. Manmore 1: Lol, the victorious chihuahua even took the sissy manlet's high heels! Manmore 2: Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator September 16, 2024
Get the myopic manlet mug.The malaria manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10) is a diminutive and diseased, microscopically minuscule little midget monstrosity who has contracted malaria because of the stuntedly swamplike living conditions that he endures due to amusingly having little baby legs and therefore standing so low that one would have to pick him up just to say hello. If the petite and puny malaria manlet surprisingly survives the gaping wound left by the infectious bite of a to him dragonlike mosquito, then he will subsequently begin to suffer from explosive diarrhea, hobbit feet, Napoleon complex psychosis and of course uncontrollable bouts of manlet rage before finally metamorphosing into a murloc manlet and wearily waddling away to effeminately frolic around in a nearby puddle like the girlishly fairylike runt of a sexy sissy manlet princess that his mouselike manletism has hilariously forever doomed him to be. Malaria manlets BTFO.
Maria: Did you hear that Tiny Tom called in sick today again? Manmore: Good, I never liked that subhumanly stunted little malaria manlet anyway! Maria: Me neither. Manlets are just gross! Manmore: Short people got no reason. Maria: Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator October 10, 2024
Get the malaria manlet mug.The perpetually petulant, paranoid and pessimistic petite misanthropic manlet is an isolated loner manlet who childishly shuns the company of grown-ups and instead prefers to focus his girlishly giddy energy on pursuing his numerous hobbies, including but not limited to: alcoholism, compulsively measuring his immutably dwarfed height every five minutes, e-shopping for children's clothes and high heels, daydreaming about getting pegged by a seven-foot tall dominatrix while he sings Short People in his high-pitched and squeaky-voiced manletspeak, performing delusional height increasing stretching exercises while listening to Skee-Lo's "I wish" and wearing nothing but high heels and a training bra, venting his manlet rage by ranting about how all women (righteously) reject and laugh at him at his local Bagel Boss and putting the finishing touches on his manlet manifesto before shooting up his favorite Barbie Dreamhouse due to the Barbie doll he was crushing on calling him an inherently effeminate, microscopically infinitesimal stunted beastling of a sissy manlet boy when she caught him in the Dreamhouse manlet pit as the deranged low IQ manlet was stupidly attempting to give the, by comparison towering, Ken doll a standing blowjob.
Emma: Lol, why is that misanthropic manlet furiously dry humping that garden gnome over there? Allison: It's because manlets can't be choosers. Emma: Short people got nobody. Allison: Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator September 11, 2024
Get the misanthropic manlet mug.The crippling condition of being a manlet. Any male shorter than 5ft10 is a manlet. Manletism is inextricably linked to the Napoleon complex, which axiomatically afflicts all manlets. Manlets are very fond of the song Short People by Randy Newman and have in fact declared it to be the anthem of manletism.
Hey, isn't that midget comedian Kevin Hart throwing a hissy fit over there because he's too short to ride the roller coaster? Just brutal, that's one of the most severe cases of manletism that I have ever seen! Prison wife status, no doubt about that.
by ManletDepreciator July 19, 2024
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