Crastination

Undefined use of time, Free time, Vague outcomes, Doodling, Occupying yourself with tasks unrelated to your purpose, Generally wasting time and other fun pursuits. Procrastination is the work that is done to avoid the work that is supposed to be done. AKA, Saturday mornings. See also Crastination and Procrastination.

Historically, The word arises from the experience where a person becomes a Pro at Crastination by spending hours doing very little, or being off track more than one is on track. With the invention of rubber tires, we realized that tracks don't really matter any more so being off track was no longer a culturally shunned experience. Hence, Pro-Crastination was born.

Saturday mornings, you and I engage in crastination by watching TV rather than vacuuming. We become better and better at crastinating and that is procrastination.

by Yoda-Ninja May 10, 2015

Crushing

A verb used to describe someone being very attracted to someone else. When someone has a crush on someone, they would be described as "crushing on him/her"

Ben: Hey, Sean. What's up?
Sean: Oh my god, I'm totally crushing right now.

or

Ben: Wow, Sean, that girl Julia over there looks pretty hot.
Sean: Yeah, I think I've developed a crush on her.
Ben: So you're crushing on Julia?
Sean: I suppose you could say that. Yes, I am crushing on Julia.

by Ben Harris May 1, 2006

boner crushing

The act of firmly pressing your erect penis into inanimate objects (e.g. a mattress, window, or door jamb) for the purpose of quenching desire or instilling fear and intimatidation into others.

Alex got so excited he started boner crushing the window at Rob's office much to Rob's shame and secret delight.

by Fitzmuenster April 24, 2010

dream crushing

What the brothers Briscoe do best.

"dream crushing gives me my powers!" said Lee Briscoe. "There is not a dream i can't crush!"

by coogan April 18, 2008

Crustianity

Crustianity is the original name for the religion that is now known as Christianity. As they are now, the Crustianity clergy of the time were all called Ninjas. Even though the Ninjas are a very moral and loving people, some corruption began in the church. A few powerful, yet mentally deranged members of the church were caught molesting young boys. These child molesters wanted to keep this a secret to continue these disgusting acts, but the Ninja council discovered their plan and banned them from Crustianity forever. Soon after their excommunication from the noble church, these men started their own church. They used the already established stories of Jeebus Crust and Crustianity to form a new religion. They changed the holy name of Jeebus Crust to Jesus Christ and created their child molesting religion of Christianity, where the clergy could continue to molest young boys in secret.

Crustianity is just as ridiculous as your religion.

by Jeebus Crust October 13, 2007

crushin' softies

Is a term of art used to describe a methodology employed by the US Military in an effort to siphon out homosexuals from service in response to the apparent lack of success of federal statute 10 U.S.C. § 654, or more commonly referred to as the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy. If a male serving in any military branch is suspected of engaging in homosexual activity, they will be called before there superior officer and asked to crush softies with one of there peers. To "crush" the suspected gay will pull out his penis and press it against the penis of his crushing partner. The idea is that the male's penis will remain flaccid and non-erect when pressed against the other male's wiener if he straight, thus proving his true sexuality. However if his penis becomes erect (a boner), the male has failed the test, and undoubtedly likes to sex other males in the fanny, thus precluding him from further military service. (Other words/phrases synonymous with the test include: "the crush game", "bumpin' soft-dick", "hamin' sandies" and "Captain Crunchin"). A similar test has been used to target homosexual females, known as "crushin' tits", however results are generally understood as unreliable due to varying room temperatures and the fact that no one cares if hoes wanna scissor each other.

Soldier: "Lieutenant Nilbog I've got some serious news. Private Johnson just got walked in on making a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread and listening to Coldplay!"

Lieutenant: "Holy fuck. Go get Johnson immediately and bring him in here. You two are gonna be crushin' softies till we get to the bottom of this."

by General Goblincock April 14, 2010

crustified dibbs

One of the illest emcees to step out of LI. responsible for such classics such as cunt renaissance , statchy ,50,000 heads & every record label sucks dick

Crustified dibbs was banned from the jive office brought a chick with a two foot vibrator up to rawkus

by Infected dick January 21, 2007