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Schrödinger's Contract

Jimmy what are we going to do? They have got us legally!

Not to fear, Austin, I used invisible ink. It is whatever we claim it is, It's Schrödinger's Contract!
by funl April 28, 2021
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Forever Contract

An infinitely long contract that is thought to be 99.9% filler. The contract can only be written by the all-powerful deity known as the Filler God.
Filler God: "If you want me to resurrect Jonny, you must sign my Forever Contract with your blood."
Jack: "Yes! Sure! Anything to revive Jonny!"
by emkay1 April 24, 2021
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Social Contract

The unwritten, unspoken rules of polite society. It's what keeps you from laughing or commenting on bodily functions that happen in public and ignoring homeless/smelly people until you can escape their visual/audible range.

May also apply to catching someone doing something inappropriate in public, in which both parties act like nothing happened and/or nothing was seen.
I went into the bathroom to wash my hands just as David was flushing the toilet. His shit stunk so bad, it was all I could think about. I tried to hold my breath and ignore it as the social contract keeps me from acknowledging the fact that his shit smell was suffocating me.
by YouStinkLikeShit January 29, 2012
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fixed-term contract

a fixed-term contract is any contract of employment that will terminate:
-on the expiry of a specific term;
-on the completion of a particular task;
-on the occurrence or non-occurrence of any other specific event other than the attainment of retiring age
This post will be offered as a fixed-term contract with an end date of 30 September 2005
by dEnIz March 14, 2005
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abstinence contract

A contract that parents and the Catholic Church force teenagers to sign, which says that they cannot engage in any sexual activities until marriage. It is stupid, because it goes against the basic laws of nature, and it doesn't work very often, instead it encourages them to have sex even more, but they don't know about birth control, so the girls get pregnant.
Craig: Why did you make me come in here with your girlfriend?

Craig's Mom: Craig, we'd like to talk with you two about something very important. Now that you both are together, we want you to sign this contract. Once you sign this, you will not commit any sexual activities until marriage, and therefore be pure until then, so you won't go to hell.

Craig: What the fuck, mom?! Are you stupid? I'd never sign an abstinence contract! You know I'm an athiest! Stop being such a retard! Sex is not some holy act that can only be done in marriage, it's normal human behavior! (Rips up contract) You make me sick! I wish you weren't so ignorant!
by JoshTheLiberator May 16, 2009
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The Contract

Millennial term for spouse or, generally, marriage. Shows the newly discovered disdain for old institutions like marriage.
Used as a pejorative about other's spouses preventing sexual relations.
I met this hot girl, she seemed to be down for the cause, then at the end of the night she got a text and had to run home to The Contract! Typical!
by OldManRealist February 10, 2018
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renude contract

Where you disrobe to allow your employer to see and/or sample The Merchandise as a bribe/exchange for his allowing you to continue working for him, even if your past/present job-performance totally sux otherwise.
Though inherently less competent/efficient than her plain-Jane co-worker Miss Blips, the drop-dead-gorgeous Miss Buxley always tries her best to do a good job so that her male-chauvinist "dirty old man" boss, General Amos T. Halftrack, will let her keep her job as a secretary at Camp Swampy, and thus she will not be obliged to debase herself by asking him for a renude contract, much as he would love to have her do so.
by QuacksO October 10, 2017
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