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Pokey Bum Cry Wank

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A thoroughly modern form of vigorous self-pleasure enjoyed by the east London sexual elite.

This wildly popular practice centers around three activities: Poking, Crying and Wanking; and two erogenous zones: the genitals and the anus (cllql. dirty rubber ring, bumlips).

A PBCW aficionado lifts one leg (much like an animal relieving its bladder or a sumo wrestler) and brutally rams the index or 'poking' finger into their rear entrance.

Next, they begin to manhandle their rude bits until they are tumescent. Balance can often prove an issue, which is why many PBCW fans club together and rent ballet practice spaces, using the rails and mirrors for support and guidance.

At this point, the sheer pleasure of the mixed sensations experienced usually produces tears of joy, but a willing PBCW partner can be employed to add Crying - the final element of the activity - by hurling vicious insults at the PBCWer or swiping at their nuts or nipples with a handy kitchen utensil.
Jenny: I'm off to the chiropractor again today.

Joe: Why?

Jenny: Both hands cramped in the middle of a mean Pokey Bum Cry Wank session and I had to open the front door with with my feet and crab-walk to my neighbour's place naked to get help.
by Editor, PBCW TODAY October 28, 2010
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pokey bum fanny wanks part 2 are often described as one male to visciously insert his fingers into his anus whilst knocking his whacker with madam palm and her 5 daughters. However why don't the woman have a term that can be used?

Women can ferosiously enter their left hand into the anus and their right into the vagina. At points during this activity, the woman may feel the fingers hitting the anus and fanny wall.
''Karen enjoys her pokey bum fanny wank part 2 simply because george can never do it!''
by BeckiBbz December 14, 2006
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bum chin wank

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you get your nasty girlfriend and stuff her in the butt, then proceed to use your shit-laden corn piece to have it away with her massively large chin bum until u cum all over her hidious face.
"oh man, that ugly bitch caroline gave me such a relentless bum chin wank i discharged all over the fucking show"
by marcus clefticus March 5, 2008
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Wanky Bum Poke

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Similar in style to a Pokey Bum Wank, only with less ferocity. More for the casual opportunist than than the full blown sexual misfit. Usually using only one digit.
Hey, i heard that Ghandi was photographed having a pokey bum wank last night? Na....it was just a quick wanky bum poke, he was in a hurry
by The Lo-Brary December 16, 2008
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bumwank

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a word that is used to describe someone acting like a total tosser and usually someone who enjoys putting strange objects up their anus. Some people are classed as bumwanks if they pluck their nipple hairs and bite their toenails.
oh my god stephanie you are such a bumwank for putting a lampshade up your bum hole again.”
by mishafarger May 9, 2020
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bumwank

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When you put your dick between a girls butt cheeks and she wanks your cock using her butt.
That slut jessica gave me a bumwank last night it was good
by Jack_Bauer January 21, 2006
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Shitting Bumwank

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The collective noun for people who make reactionary, ill-thought-out and plain racist comments on news websites. Coined by Alex of the blog Speak You're Branes.
Have you seen the massive shitting bumwank of racists on the Telegraph site today?
by SYB Kelvin January 7, 2010
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