Cat

The owner of your house, the destroyer of your laptop, and the curtain annihilator.

The cat is the ultimate weapon of your household. They will eat the dangerous goldfish, fight off lasers, makes sure you spend your money wisely (on cat toys and food) and will scare off you night-intruders with their scary glowing eyes.

Friend 1: You wanna meet my cat? It's very cute.

Friend 2: Sure.
"Friend 2 was never seen again..."

by Small_White_Quacker July 30, 2023

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Cats

Okay, so imagine a small, carnivorous, usually furry house pet with a long ass tail and alien eyes that may seem all sweet and cuddly at first, then imagine it turning into a heartless fucker that think it’s slick shit ignoring you, scratching you, pissing on stuff, thinking it rules the entire house, treating you like nothing more than its bitch and licking its fat ass all day. Yeah, that’s a cat.

Girl: So do you like dogs?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Rabbits?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Mice?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Rats?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Monkeys?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Pandas?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Cats?
Guy: Fuck no!

This is just a joke. I love cats and in fact have 2 of my own. Please don’t kill me.

by The only name not in use July 28, 2018

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Fuck a cat in a basket

When shit is just so badly fucked up that there is just no other way you could express the fucking shit show that’s going on at the moment

This is when the shit has hit the fan and every mother fucker in the room has shit on their face.

Everyone and everything is fucked

Jesus Jenny, you lost our life savings gambling in Vegas, fucked a wild Mexican and shat down your leg whilst giving a hobo a blow... Fuck a cat in a basket!

by younginvestor September 24, 2020

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