Smutty Jesus

Smutty Jesus

A fictional religious deity used in modern parlance to celebrate and worship extreme smutty innuendo with the sole intent and purpose of providing levity and joy to a third party whom might be anxious, miserable, or in the doldrums.
"What's the matter Amelia?"

"I'm just not feeling too chipper at present, Tarquin - I think I've got a nasty case of crabs from an able seaman on shore leave."

"Well, I think someone needs a visitation from Smutty Jesus to lick them back into shape in that case."
by Lord Horatio Richards April 12, 2023
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Bread jesus

A really awesome person who deserves the whole world <3
"yo who is that wonderful human?" "oh that's Bread Jesus"
by Bread Jesus Simp May 18, 2021
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Jesus Vanacho

A country-metal rock band out of Burlington Vermont. Formed in early 2008 Jesus Vanacho is five members consisting of piano, drums two guitars, and bass.
Jesus Vanacho is on tour through the summer.
by Mills Streebeck January 16, 2009
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Jesus Paredes

A mexican man who thinks he’s good at some sports but not really. He hopes he does but everyone knows it won’t happen.
He’s Jesus Paredes.
by arzeeeee April 01, 2019
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SWAT Jesus

Benevolent deity of all hardcore operators. He keeps a watchful eye over his flock of well-trained firearms enthusiasts. He is most often summoned when one is engaged in a firefight and has run dry of ammunition. They cast a wistful eye towards the sky, crying out for help. And as if from Heaven, scores of fully loaded magazines rain from the sky, once again replenishing the empty firearm so that it can be re-engaged.
Help me! Help me SWAT Jesus! I’m out of ammo!
by swat957 October 20, 2017
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Jesus Bus

The spiritual equivalent of the city bus that comes through hospitals and picks up the terminally ill usually during the night. When it is said that the patient has his metrocard (ticket) ready, it means he's knocking on heavens door.
Mr. Leff is looking like hell, I bet the Jesus Bus is gonna come around for him soon.
by Leysie January 14, 2008
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Mop Jesus

Yo Jamal, would you be interested in learning about our mop lord and mop savior, Mop Jesus?
by Dumb6nitch9ine March 20, 2022
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