A 9-5 office employee that’s a heavy weed smoker and can still deliver their projects on time. They can go out on the weekdays and will function pretty well at work the next day.
They’ll do shit like work from home but really they’re just checking outlook and teams while on the road somewhere. Or they might be gaming and occasionally asking their boss a random question. Pretty fun person to work with though.
They’ll do shit like work from home but really they’re just checking outlook and teams while on the road somewhere. Or they might be gaming and occasionally asking their boss a random question. Pretty fun person to work with though.
I’m not sure why I tried so hard in college. The people that didn’t try as hard ended up in the same place as I am. It’s my turn to chill. I’m in my corporate dirtbag era.
by portapattie May 9, 2023
Get the Corporate Dirtbag mug.by Randythefeltedface December 6, 2023
Get the Corporate-Cuck-Fuck mug.Like Cocaine Cowboyz, but not situated in the narcotics game.
Corporate all day, baby. Money is the drug, and if you're sitting on it, then you ain't moving; and if you ain't moving, you're getting mopped up. No more stoops. No more corners. Just marble floors and three piece suits. Corporate Trappers at their finest. Corporate Cowboyz are really just corner office hitters. Boardroom Sharks. Payroll Mercs. Such is life. Apex Regulators. Their peak. The epitome of graduating. Leveling up. Don't even have a name, just a reputation. Manager? Fuck a manager. Corporate Cowboyz make lateral moves. "Make a few mil here, a few mil there" - Antonio Montana To them business is not a board game. Business is war. And you don't "win" war, by hoarding trillions. You spread it around along with your legend, if not your legacy will be shit.
Make a thousand, handle a million. Damn it feels good to be a Corporate Cowboy...
Corporate all day, baby. Money is the drug, and if you're sitting on it, then you ain't moving; and if you ain't moving, you're getting mopped up. No more stoops. No more corners. Just marble floors and three piece suits. Corporate Trappers at their finest. Corporate Cowboyz are really just corner office hitters. Boardroom Sharks. Payroll Mercs. Such is life. Apex Regulators. Their peak. The epitome of graduating. Leveling up. Don't even have a name, just a reputation. Manager? Fuck a manager. Corporate Cowboyz make lateral moves. "Make a few mil here, a few mil there" - Antonio Montana To them business is not a board game. Business is war. And you don't "win" war, by hoarding trillions. You spread it around along with your legend, if not your legacy will be shit.
Make a thousand, handle a million. Damn it feels good to be a Corporate Cowboy...
Example 1
Person 1: You heard redacted, the department head, got fired over the weekend? Sheesh management is cold for that one.
Person 2: Then you must've not heard he got got by some Corporate Cowboyz. Pay house calls like fucking doctahs, these fucking killas.
Person 1: Fucking ay, that's one way to go. Whole fucking bloodline gone and you be the one to blame for it.
Person 2: I'm telling you, mang. That bitch had it coming. Management is saying the position is open now, starting salary is redacted.
Person 1: Haha for redacted, they better bulletproof the company whip. I'm not getting smoked on the way to drop off my kids at practice, because the higher ups need a fall guy.
Person 2: HAH Corporate Cowboyz don't give a fuck. They'll drop your kids, too.
Person 1: You heard redacted, the department head, got fired over the weekend? Sheesh management is cold for that one.
Person 2: Then you must've not heard he got got by some Corporate Cowboyz. Pay house calls like fucking doctahs, these fucking killas.
Person 1: Fucking ay, that's one way to go. Whole fucking bloodline gone and you be the one to blame for it.
Person 2: I'm telling you, mang. That bitch had it coming. Management is saying the position is open now, starting salary is redacted.
Person 1: Haha for redacted, they better bulletproof the company whip. I'm not getting smoked on the way to drop off my kids at practice, because the higher ups need a fall guy.
Person 2: HAH Corporate Cowboyz don't give a fuck. They'll drop your kids, too.
by el socio October 12, 2018
Get the Corporate Cowboyz mug.Individuals who work for money for the sake of money. Take care of business for business' sake. Renegades within corporate ranks, fucking up all kinds of bottlenecks and complacency. Rocks the boat and follows the money. Takes "In God We Trust" to literally mean our, the royal "We", trust held in fiat currency. Will break rules AND take credit for it. Not afraid to catch flak. Cutthoat. Guilty by association. Wet you up from the neck up. Originated in the US of A. Pioneered in the Wild West. There is no final frontier...
Example
Person 1: License and registration, please.
Person 2: *hands them papers*
Person 1: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Person 2: Just doing your job?
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: You being smart with me?
Person 2: You pulled ME over.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: Okay, I see the registered owner's name and the name on your ID do not match. Care to explain?
Person 2: This... is a company car-
Person 3: Would you like a business card. We're Corporate Cowboys tonight.
Person 1: Oh...Uhhh, no. That won't be necessary. I'm aware of who y'all are... Just doing your job, too, huh?
Person 3: We can't disclose that information.
Person 1: So the owner of this is uhh..?
Person 2: We can't disclose that information.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 2: Well, let's wrap this up-
Person 1: W-would you like my name and badge number? My sergeant doesn't have to hear about this...
Person 2: Easy, Officer... We're on the same side here. Technically, we're all Corporate.
Person 3: Yeah, you are the "loss prevention" to our "collections". We never cross, because we never fuck up.
Person 1: So am I being detained?
Person 2: ...
Person 3: ...redacted? Do we take their name and badge?
Person 1: Please?
Person 2: Have a quiet night, Officer. Drive safe.
Person 1: License and registration, please.
Person 2: *hands them papers*
Person 1: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Person 2: Just doing your job?
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: You being smart with me?
Person 2: You pulled ME over.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: Okay, I see the registered owner's name and the name on your ID do not match. Care to explain?
Person 2: This... is a company car-
Person 3: Would you like a business card. We're Corporate Cowboys tonight.
Person 1: Oh...Uhhh, no. That won't be necessary. I'm aware of who y'all are... Just doing your job, too, huh?
Person 3: We can't disclose that information.
Person 1: So the owner of this is uhh..?
Person 2: We can't disclose that information.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 2: Well, let's wrap this up-
Person 1: W-would you like my name and badge number? My sergeant doesn't have to hear about this...
Person 2: Easy, Officer... We're on the same side here. Technically, we're all Corporate.
Person 3: Yeah, you are the "loss prevention" to our "collections". We never cross, because we never fuck up.
Person 1: So am I being detained?
Person 2: ...
Person 3: ...redacted? Do we take their name and badge?
Person 1: Please?
Person 2: Have a quiet night, Officer. Drive safe.
by el socio October 12, 2018
Get the Corporate Cowboys mug.The Great Corporate War has raged since thee conception of fiat. Organizations, governments, associations, companies and corporations all came up out of the woodwork to battle it out in this realm of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds. Cartels, mafias, and every kind of gang live to make money. Banks live to launder it. We live to spend it and put it in the right hands. The cycle of drugs, murder, skulduggery, and straight fuckery go deep, and continue without cease. Cash is king, and gold is queen. The king can be stretched, but the queen is sacred, feel me. If you have a job you're in the game. Nobody's innocent. Every conflict has been funded and back by government and corporate dollars. And that's the beauty of it. The Corporate War has no end in sight, because fiat is a promise and promises are older than money... It's good vs evil, out here in the streets. It's Corporate War, baby.
Example
Person 1: When do I get my sign up bonus...?
Person 2: HAha what?? There is no sign up bonus. Here's a compensation plan. You have a quota to hit this month.
Person 1: Hehe... okay. What if I can't hit these numbers? They seem a little excessive.
Person 2: Excessive? You signed up during Corporate War and you ain't even in your prime yet. We're gonna make you a killing machine-
Person 1: I'm sorry?
Person 2: A closing machine. I'll tell you if you do anything crazy to hit those numbers and jail in the clink, we can help with an advance on your check and post bail..
Person 1: *wtf...*
Person 1: When do I get my sign up bonus...?
Person 2: HAha what?? There is no sign up bonus. Here's a compensation plan. You have a quota to hit this month.
Person 1: Hehe... okay. What if I can't hit these numbers? They seem a little excessive.
Person 2: Excessive? You signed up during Corporate War and you ain't even in your prime yet. We're gonna make you a killing machine-
Person 1: I'm sorry?
Person 2: A closing machine. I'll tell you if you do anything crazy to hit those numbers and jail in the clink, we can help with an advance on your check and post bail..
Person 1: *wtf...*
by el socio October 13, 2018
Get the corporate war mug.by Corporate Charlie July 14, 2017
Get the corporate charlie mug.The minimal amount of money you get busting your ass for a large corporation that ultimately gets 99% of the profit without doing any of the work
Dan-Hey you got 200 dollars on your paycheck this week
Steve-Yeah but it’s just corporate crumbs from working 51 hours.
Steve-Yeah but it’s just corporate crumbs from working 51 hours.
by The realest99 August 27, 2018
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