bible

an ancient novel full of murder, corruption, slavery, homophobia, beastiality, incest and cruelty. it is often read to young children on a sunday.

Parent: come on kid, we're going to study the bible.
Kid: don't you mean that moldy old book that tells lies?
Parent: yes! praise jesus!

by jesus is in us all....~ December 20, 2021

Bible School Crush

1. The person you catch unholy feelings for during Vacation Bible School — usually while swearing you’re “not even looking for anything right now.” You lock eyes across the craft table, or during a group worship song, and suddenly you’re imagining a joint testimony at your future wedding. Charming smile, questionable life choices, walking red flag.

2. A short-lived, overly wholesome-yet-chaotic situationship powered by proximity, youth group energy, and an unhealthy amount of soda from the fellowship hall. Ends with him ghosting you like he just got called on a permanent mission trip to another dimension

“I told myself I wasn’t dating this summer… then Octavio, my Bible School Crush, asked if I wanted to sit with him during Bible study and now I can’t listen to ‘Our God Is an Awesome God’ without crying.”

by SeheKeineRotenFlaggen August 13, 2025

Bible

A book that explains how to sexually abuse a child and get away with it.

Can you pass me the Bible. I’m gonna need it this Sunday.

by JesusChrist/God January 17, 2023

bible

like "i swear to God"

helga: omg i shit my pants.
martina: omg. bible?
helga: bible frrrr

by poopypeepee69696969696969 January 24, 2022

Undercover Bible

The Undercover Bible, is that sneaky Bible you expect to be on every Rednecks makeshift bookshelf. wether it be hiding Money, metal objects or a flask of Alchohol,l the Undercover Bible is perfect for hiding absolutely anything you want (bible's vary in sizes depending on stash).

Cledus: Hey Pa Susan, Sarah, Billy and Sam are Fighting over the last corn cob Again
Bobby Ray: Dont worry yourself there son, I stashed one in dat dere Undercover Bible.
Cledus: Thanks Pa, Gorsh darn i luv yoou

by SUPANINJA December 10, 2009

dih on the bible

When someone's pressing you and you want to tell them you're telling the truth; similar to "on god"

Person 1: "say on god you wasn't texting my girl"
Person 2: "dih on the bible bro i ain't like that"

by arcanev4 April 18, 2025

Bible Guys

a group that is cool eats pizza and plays club penguin but slang versian sias CANCEROUS TO WHOEVER HATES THEM.

yeah join Bible guys man.

by THE BIBLE GUYS April 25, 2019