18 year old girl gets summer job in the canary islands, then goes to the beach on day off. lack of suncream results in horrifically burned face - its oozing and half the skin falls off.
the image is like that of a cooking crab due to colour and texture.
she is told she cant work until her face is better because its too unattractive to be put behind a reception desk.
the image is like that of a cooking crab due to colour and texture.
she is told she cant work until her face is better because its too unattractive to be put behind a reception desk.
spanish man: your face looks much better.
hannah: go on Ellen, show them the real skin!
*shows*
spanish man: aaaaaaaah its ellen crab!!!!
(said in accent can also sound a lot like Ellen Crap.)
hannah: go on Ellen, show them the real skin!
*shows*
spanish man: aaaaaaaah its ellen crab!!!!
(said in accent can also sound a lot like Ellen Crap.)
by justbackfromholiday July 13, 2009
-She accidentally inhaled my crabbed crust.
-She hadn't gotten any in so long, she was layered in crabbed crust.
-She hadn't gotten any in so long, she was layered in crabbed crust.
by Give me crack or give me death May 17, 2016
by k.a.p. March 05, 2007
When you wrap both of a girls legs around her head during sex then begin harpooning her with your love sword, a relentless vicious assault, mercilessly laying siege until either the sex position is lost or an intervention is made.
by Proffessor Muscle November 15, 2019
"Why is that cleavage crab staring at my boobs? oh hello crab are you enjoying my boobs? good for you!"
by creature_with_one_eye October 15, 2015
Pubic lice that crawl into your anus when you shower, and come back out after you get out and put clothes on. In doing this, they leave "tracks" of feces all over your underwear.
by exactlywhoyouexpect June 13, 2016
To squat down on your toes, reaching under the leg to masturbate in a downward motion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.
Martin: How was your evening Andy?
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.
Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.
Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…
by Goatboy Grasshead June 08, 2021