Fat ass middle-age bitch whose whole life revolves around her children. Drives a mini-van or large SUV due to multiple children. Usually puts stickers on the back car window saying things such as, "Ashley #10 Soccer." Their day consists of:
-Wake up & pack lunches for kids (No sweets, pop, or anything unhealthy)
-Make sure the kids eat a nutritional breakfast
-Review the kids outfits
-Drive them to school
-Clean
-Pick them up from school
-Take ___ to soccer, ___ to ballet, and ___ to bible study.
-Pick all the kids up and get them all happy meals from McDonald's.
-Tells kids to start getting ready for bed, because it is already 7 PM
-Has very unpleasant sex with their apathetic husbands once kids are fast asleep
Commonly enjoys wearing knit sweaters with high water jeans. Usually have cheesy knick-knacks in their home, such as plates hung on the wall that say things like, "Hope" "Faith" "Believe" etc. Their children are extremely shielded from the real world, not being allowed to watch anything with bad language or sexual references. Can only watch PG-13 movies once they actually turn 13. Must be approved by the soccer mom first. Can't buy music, watch TV, hang out with friends, or anything without approval from their soccer mom first. They install V-Chips and/or parental controls on 3/4 of the TV channels. This leaves educational channels, which they usually end up blocking because of real life content. Ex. The History Channel, The Animal Planet. Usually pushes their hopes and dreams on their kids and forces them to follow them, which ends up failing epically. Their kids are so sheltered and forced to give up their individuality, which results in corruption. Their "perfect little angels" are usually hoes, sluts, bitches, potheads, drug users, drunks, or just all around bad kids behind their back. Heavy denial is involved at this point. Soccer moms are strictly christian, anything that doesn't have to do with it is the "devil's work." Soccer moms are constantly seen glaring at teenagers who curse or are "rowdy" in any sort of way. Tries to tell teens, who are complete strangers, what they can and can't do.
-Wake up & pack lunches for kids (No sweets, pop, or anything unhealthy)
-Make sure the kids eat a nutritional breakfast
-Review the kids outfits
-Drive them to school
-Clean
-Pick them up from school
-Take ___ to soccer, ___ to ballet, and ___ to bible study.
-Pick all the kids up and get them all happy meals from McDonald's.
-Tells kids to start getting ready for bed, because it is already 7 PM
-Has very unpleasant sex with their apathetic husbands once kids are fast asleep
Commonly enjoys wearing knit sweaters with high water jeans. Usually have cheesy knick-knacks in their home, such as plates hung on the wall that say things like, "Hope" "Faith" "Believe" etc. Their children are extremely shielded from the real world, not being allowed to watch anything with bad language or sexual references. Can only watch PG-13 movies once they actually turn 13. Must be approved by the soccer mom first. Can't buy music, watch TV, hang out with friends, or anything without approval from their soccer mom first. They install V-Chips and/or parental controls on 3/4 of the TV channels. This leaves educational channels, which they usually end up blocking because of real life content. Ex. The History Channel, The Animal Planet. Usually pushes their hopes and dreams on their kids and forces them to follow them, which ends up failing epically. Their kids are so sheltered and forced to give up their individuality, which results in corruption. Their "perfect little angels" are usually hoes, sluts, bitches, potheads, drug users, drunks, or just all around bad kids behind their back. Heavy denial is involved at this point. Soccer moms are strictly christian, anything that doesn't have to do with it is the "devil's work." Soccer moms are constantly seen glaring at teenagers who curse or are "rowdy" in any sort of way. Tries to tell teens, who are complete strangers, what they can and can't do.
Teen: *picks up an R rated movie*
Soccer mom: *death glare* That movie is full of gore, you aren't old enough to watch it. Put in back, NAO.
Teen: Fuck off fat-ass bitch.
Soccer mom: *goes to the store manager to complain*
Nothing happens because the store manager is fed up with frumpy fat ass soccer moms who complain every two fucking seconds.
Soccer mom: *death glare* That movie is full of gore, you aren't old enough to watch it. Put in back, NAO.
Teen: Fuck off fat-ass bitch.
Soccer mom: *goes to the store manager to complain*
Nothing happens because the store manager is fed up with frumpy fat ass soccer moms who complain every two fucking seconds.
by Die Soccer Moms March 14, 2009
Get the Soccer Mom mug.stacy can't you see you're just not the girl for me. i know it might be wrong, but i'm in love with stacy's mom.
by anonymous November 6, 2004
Get the stacy's mom mug.by Minion.mom.2000 June 6, 2019
Get the Minion mom mug.A relatively young mother, typically aged about 28-40, who spends a great deal of time on Pinterest, pureeing their own kale and avocado baby food, wearing floppy felt hats, pacifying their children with iPads, and sheltering them from any and every hardship that may come their way (e.g. paper cuts or skinned knees).
They can often be found plying their kids (who are usually named something like Mason, Brody, Clay, Piper, or Lennon) with pistachio ice cream from the local farmer's market, shopping for a new maxi dress at Anthropologie, or enjoying some avocado toast after a hot yoga session.
They can often be found plying their kids (who are usually named something like Mason, Brody, Clay, Piper, or Lennon) with pistachio ice cream from the local farmer's market, shopping for a new maxi dress at Anthropologie, or enjoying some avocado toast after a hot yoga session.
GIRL 1: "Did you see the photo that Jennifer posted of her kid, Atticus, eating an acai bowl?"
GIRL 2: "I know. She's SUCH a quinoa mom."
GIRL 2: "I know. She's SUCH a quinoa mom."
by Soup Starr May 6, 2017
Get the quinoa mom mug.A case that doubles as a wallet. Also known as a folio. These items are mainly used by moms hence the name mom cSe.
by The real Kodak bough December 10, 2016
Get the mom case mug.by Yuri Nation October 2, 2019
Get the Eminem's mom mug.a mom everyone wishes they had. they're amazing, strong and would do anything for her child, despite the adversity and judgement they may face. being a good mom isn't an easy job. often times they doubt themselves and their abilities as mothers, but they are still able to get up, care for their child, go to school, go to work, maintain relationships, maintain a household, listen to their friend complain about men, etc. they are raising a great child and doing an amazing job. their ability to love is an astounding thing. there's no handbook on how to be a good mom, yet they still bring forth what they know and continue learning and that's what makes a good mom.
by kill me when i die December 6, 2021
Get the good mom mug.