Definition:
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
“He’s not just a deadbeat — he’s a Creep Creeping Past Expiration.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
by Roxx Farron June 07, 2025
A couple is said to have a compatible past if their past romantic and sexual experience is on a similar level.
John had two girlfriends and Jane had 5 boyfriends, they don't have a compatible past.
Jack went only as far as first base, while Janice went as far as second base with her previous boyfriend. They have a compatible past since their experiences are near similar.
Jean only made out with a woman while Jill slept with two guys before. They don't have a compatible past.
Jacob slept with 3 woman and Jessica with 2 men. They have a compatible past.
Jack went only as far as first base, while Janice went as far as second base with her previous boyfriend. They have a compatible past since their experiences are near similar.
Jean only made out with a woman while Jill slept with two guys before. They don't have a compatible past.
Jacob slept with 3 woman and Jessica with 2 men. They have a compatible past.
by Ememento September 20, 2024
Term for most mayonnaise-based salads particularly popular amongst the Baby Boomer generation, and oftentimes consumer at picnics, such as potato salad, chicken salad, egg salad, etc, etc.
Looks like dad’s eating a Boomer Paste sandwich for the third time this week! Everything else is too spicy for him:
by Booool April 13, 2021
John never went more than second base himself. His past acceptability maximum is a woman who went as much as third base. He is unable to accept anyone with experience more than that.
Jack's past acceptability maximum was a woman who had slept with one man maximum. But as Jack gets older and is unable to find such women, his past acceptability maximum increases and becomes more lenient. He is now open to women who slept with two men maximum.
Jane's past acceptability maximum is a man who went to third base maximum. But when she meets the handsome and tall Juan, she forgets her past acceptability maximum.
Jack's past acceptability maximum was a woman who had slept with one man maximum. But as Jack gets older and is unable to find such women, his past acceptability maximum increases and becomes more lenient. He is now open to women who slept with two men maximum.
Jane's past acceptability maximum is a man who went to third base maximum. But when she meets the handsome and tall Juan, she forgets her past acceptability maximum.
by Ememento October 04, 2024
Half-past twelve I was all alone
I can't be compromised
Fuckin' on my ex, we ain't apologize
'Cause I'm way too young and you always right
Threw it in my face, I'm on another flight
Girl at home, I ain't been living right
The little arguments always start the fight
I had to get away so I'm with you tonight
Is there another guy?
I can't be compromised
Fuckin' on my ex, we ain't apologize
'Cause I'm way too young and you always right
Threw it in my face, I'm on another flight
Girl at home, I ain't been living right
The little arguments always start the fight
I had to get away so I'm with you tonight
Is there another guy?
by terroristman700 November 04, 2023
Referencing a big night of drinking with work colleagues and/or clients. Most often used in referencing professionals in the sales and/or finance industry. The term originates from a comment made by one colleague about another referencing the fact that her colleagues were animals, like animals in the zoo, however, to the benefit of all in society, zoo animals are kept in cages, whereas, her colleagues are free to roam the city, thus the night was "way past zoo."
Joe asked, Max how the meeting with the sales team from Topeka was. Max replied, "It was totally out of control, I think Bob got arrested, Tony definitely pushed the hotel piano into the pool, and I have no idea where Luis is . . . it was way past zoo. Way past zoo."
by Luis2018 October 02, 2018