Monday

The day you find out you don't have to die to go to hell...

me: Am I dead?
friend: No, but you are in hell.
me: how?
friend: It's monday.

by Bloesem September 4, 2018

Monday morning cornerback

An individual who retrospectively attributes their failures and disappointments to external factors rather than acknowledging their own contributions.

Ignore that guy. He's just a Monday morning cornerback. Never accepts blame for his own screwups.

by A legit doctor. Not a joke. December 31, 2024

Megalodon monday

A national holiday every monday celebrating the Megalodon shark

Tim: What day is it?

Rob: Its Megalodon monday!

Tim: Thanks!

by Kibahascorona July 12, 2023

Monday quarterbacking

1. Just bullshiting off the top of your head
2. Saying whatever comes to your mind

1. Jimmy was pretty much Monday quarterbacking the whole presentation

by Protein Dan July 30, 2018

Raspberry Monday

When a man kicks off the week by smearing a pot of raspberry mouse on his girlfriends pussy, and then licks it off while she holds a a bullet to her clitoris.

Hopefully results in her squirting raspberry flavoured pussy juice into his mouth.

Baby i cant wait to get home tonight, I love a good Raspberry Monday!

by RaspberryMonday July 12, 2010

French Monday

When you smoke a joint and then proceed to Eiffel Tower a woman

“It feels like a French Monday too”

by Johnnie Kennedy/Austin Feltner June 2, 2025

Monday the 13th

1. Garfield's most hated day, especially in February

1. Oh no, I am definitely not getting out of bed today, no on Monday the 13th! (Garfield)

by I HATE MONDAYS WITH A PASSION! April 22, 2025