towel grape

When someone wraps a banana with a plate and throws it at a grape

i have anger issues. i towel graped.

by hello mate i am joNathaN February 18, 2021

Towel-Shank

The act of wrapping up a towel then smaking someone with it.

Don't make me towel-shank you

by Tavi/PinkPowderCandy April 1, 2024

towel law

The unspoken rule that towels' rights are less than any other person's, excluding towels themselves. Towels are not allowed to:
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.

Thanks to Towel Law, the towel was punished sternly by the whip for attempting to write a book about how to drive, against Amy Schumer's vagina's wishes. It was quickly rolled into a makeshift dildo-tampon and shoved back in. Amy Schumer stopped menstruating a long time ago, so don't worry. It's just super sweaty and gross.

by Niger Tits October 9, 2017

Wet paper towel

The wet paper towel is an annoying phrase in UK schools. Particularly middle and primary. That feeling when you tell your teacher to go call the nurse because you have got a really sore leg and the nurse just gives you a WET PAPER TOWEL and expects it to be better is just so unbelievable.

Miss can you call the nurse?

Nurse comes...
My leg hurts

Nurse gives wet paper towel. bye!!
Me in head: how tf...

by What ya dickhead July 26, 2024

alabama damp towel

When you fuck your dead mother’s corpse while a rooster watches. The act is complete when the rooster crows.

The way Clyde the rooster looked at me while I was performing an Alabama damp towel on my dead mom in that barn made me feel ashamed. But the way he crowed after I ejaculated made me feel proud. Now I just need to figure out where to bury her body.

by Constance Lingus February 13, 2022

Paper Towel Rich

When you’re definitely not rolling in money, but you feel like a big spender because you’re tearing off three or four paper towels at a time to handle a tiny spill. This is the kind of rich where you’re not counting sheets, you’re just living that lavish life with extra absorbency.

Alex: "Whoa, are you seriously using four paper towels for that little coffee drip?"

Jordan: "Yeah, I’m paper towel rich now. I don’t have to play it safe with just one anymore."

Alex: "Dang, living the high life, I see!"

by The Josh Speaks November 4, 2024

Towel Flossing

When someone flosses a towel between their legs to better dry off their nether regions.

There's nothing better than a hot shower followed by some good ol' towel flossing.

by Kind of a Joey June 7, 2023