idiot machine

Another word for "uterus"; the place where human beings—otherwise known as "idiots"—are conceived.

Bill: After the movie, do you want to come over to my place and...you know...
Carol: Sure! That is, as long as you wear protection.
Bill: But it doesn't feel as good with protection!
Carol: Yes, but think about it, Bill. If you don't wear a condom, nine months from
now, some fucking moron might come out of my idiot machine. Do you really want that?
Bill: Good point.

by Like, An Actual Linguist May 5, 2018

Lag Machine

A contraption in open world MMO Survival games (Minecraft for example) that intentionally slows down server time catastrophically for everyone on the server no matter the distance if it’s being rendered.

Example of chat during lagging

HaXOr: omg lag
Super_Steve: 3rd time this our
HaXOr: of course I dropped my op sword
SkEpPy: lagggggg
Zelllk: @admin?
HaXOr: yeah someone’s using a lag machine
Zelllk: who usin lag machine I’ll knock their **** in the dirt

Chat was wild for 20 minutes.

by Malcontent lag February 26, 2022

sperm machine

Someone who jacks off more than 4 times a day.

''Ever met Jack? He's a sperm machine!''

by KERMYT May 5, 2016

Mullet machine

Any variation of the 3rd generation F body vehicle manufactured by General Motors. These are normally piloted by middle aged white dudes sporting mullets.

Sweet mullet machine! Bet you're the coolest dude in this whole trailer park.

by Shootermacgavin January 29, 2018

beef machine

A big burly man who does nothing but has sex. That's all he does.

My man Brandon is a beef machine.

by Schmungle June 5, 2017

sloot machine

originated in the early 1920's, the sloot machine was derived from the word "sloot," an adjective used to describe a girl with promiscuous tendencies. Sloot machines love to get paid, laid, and fucked - but don't bother calling back, or they'll eat you up alive! Some of their hobbies include feeding the poor, hitting the stacks, and suckin' mad dick. They oftentimes demonstrate poor judgement and in many instances lack a proper sense of self-worth.

Many people mistake a sloot machine for your everyday sloot. The key difference here is the complete disregard for any sense of human decency or self-control at all exhibited by sloot machines. While sloots occasionally take a break from their slooty ways, sloot machines will never say no to dick, no matter the shape or size.

Hey Jon, did you see that sloot machine down the river? what a train wreck!

by ezraJ May 13, 2014

Reeves Machine

(n.) ri vz məˈʃin

A Reeves Machine is a machination whose only purpose is to harm, be it physically or otherwise.

The means through which a Reeves Machine harms are usually comedic and often parody some other harmless concept.

Coined after Michael Reeves on YouTube.

Elmo Doll Quality Control Specialist, surveying an assembly line of finished Elmo dolls: "This one passes, this one passes, this one is fine, this one.. has wires?"
Suspicious Elmo Doll: You're a ▇▇▇!!
Elmo Doll Quality Control Specialist: "I see, this one is a Reeves Machine."
Michael Reeves: "Yes, it is. It is me, Michael Reeves, and you are offended. can you be no less?"

by Lord Toker April 2, 2023