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Fountain of Archimedes

A performance involving the concurrent consumption of beer, and public urination. The performer typically executes this by synchronizing the production of urine with the initiation of a "waterfall" stylistic-drinking manoeuvre, and shall attempt to demonstrate technical artistry by actively controlling the volumetric beer flow-rate in precise response to changes sensed in the urine stream pressure-drop.

Sufficiently skillful execution results in a suspension of disbelief for all observers of the intended suggestion, viz., that the beer is indeed flowing directly between the performer's esophagus and distal urinary meatus, mysteriously circumventing the natural physiological processes which ordinarily conduct such fluid transport operations over a considerably longer time frame.
Observer 1: (Hands a can of beer to the performer)
Performer: (Unseals the can, assumes a customary urination stance and takes out his penis)
Observer 1: "Yea, though the very notion of it be most incredulous, verily I am compelled to inquire: Do you truly mean to void your water, unduly in my presence, bro?"
Observer 2: "I beg to assure you bro, with the entirety of my conviction, that the scene which unfolds before us is not one of capricious folly! But lo, what sport! Indeed, what exquisite fortune! For bro means to gift the lot of us with the hallowed spectacle of a Fountain of Archimedes!"
Performer: (Begins simultaneously pissing and pouring beer from the can into his mouth)
Observer 1: "Good God, bro! But what fantastic machinations must bro be cloistering in his very form, that might afford him the commission of such a prodigious feat? I find myself overcome by titillation, bro, inundating my senses and, yea, my very wit to such a degree that surely I shall have to swoon down upon the earth this very instant if I am to retain any semblance of dignity! And shall I dare to regale my bros in absentia with such unconscionable witness, on pain of being rightly diminished in credibility to that of some crazed, braying beast, its brains having been riven with holes from foraging upon a most devilish specimen of the noxious weeds - ...."
(Everyone else has left)
by spider kidsz April 24, 2025
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Fountain of Archimedes

A performance involving the concurrent consumption of beer, and public urination. The performer typically executes this by synchronizing the production of urine with the initiation of a "waterfall" stylistic-drinking manoeuvre, and shall attempt to demonstrate technical artistry by actively controlling the volumetric beer flow-rate in precise response to changes sensed in the urine stream pressure-drop.

Sufficiently skillful execution results in a suspension of disbelief for all observers of the intended suggestion, viz., that the beer is indeed flowing directly between the performer's esophagus and distal urinary meatus, mysteriously circumventing the natural physiological processes which ordinarily conduct such fluid transport operations over a considerably longer time frame.
Observer 1: (Hands a can of beer to the performer)
Performer: (Unseals the can, assumes a customary urination stance and takes out his penis)
Observer 1: "Yea, though the very notion of it be most incredulous, verily I am compelled to inquire: Do you truly mean to void your water, unduly in my presence, bro?"
Observer 2: "I beg to assure you bro, with the entirety of my conviction, that the scene which unfolds before us is not one of capricious folly! But lo, what sport! Indeed, what exquisite fortune! For bro means to gift the lot of us with the hallowed spectacle of a Fountain of Archimedes!"
Performer: (Begins simultaneously pissing and pouring beer from the can into his mouth)
Observer 1: "Good God, bro! But what fantastic machinations must bro be cloistering in his very form, that might afford him the commission of such a prodigious feat? I find myself overcome by titillation, bro, inundating my senses and, yea, my very wit to such a degree that surely I shall have to swoon down upon the earth this very instant if I am to retain any semblance of dignity! And shall I dare to regale my bros in absentia with such unconscionable witness, on pain of being rightly diminished in credibility to that of some crazed, braying beast, its brains having been riven with holes from foraging upon a most devilish specimen of the noxious weeds - ...."
(Everyone else has left)
by spider kidsz April 24, 2025
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Cranberry Fountain

A cranberry fountain is when a man fingers a woman on her period with a flicking motion, causing menstrual blood to squirt upwards like a fountain
I was on my period, so John gave me a cranberry fountain!
by Eshmansam May 5, 2025
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Glaze Fountain

A term used for when a girl stacks donuts on an erect penis before ejaculating, thus creating glazed donuts
Girl - “Hey, wanna go to the library and study?”
Boy - “No, I would much rather and stay here and enjoy a glaze fountain. Should we go to Dunkin’ Donuts now?
by thecshnic October 4, 2023
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Alabama fountain

When two lesbians cum while scissoring and they both have the diarrhea squirts.
Yo I walked in on Stacy and Veronica and they were doing the Alabama fountain!
by AJ_ILL April 17, 2024
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Fountain of Youth

The process of ejaculating into the air and catching it with your mouth, repeating the process over time.
Friend- Yo can you come over?

You- I can’t, I’m trying to do a Fountain of Youth
by Thick_Shrimp April 21, 2024
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fountains of venus

The results of performing oral sex usually, or any means including PIV, fingers or toys, to bring a girl to orgasm when she has a full bladder. Ideally she holds her bladder until she acheives orgasm, but may be released when she simply cannot hold it anymore.

The result is usually the nuclear bomb motherlode of squirting.
Man, me and my gf were chuggin' beers last night. I went down on her and she hadn't used the toilet for over two hours. When she came, she gave me the fountains of venus in a major way! Had to replace my couch and carpet, goddam it.
by Malcuntent May 10, 2024
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