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Ted Cruzing

Leaving when times get tough especially when your power goes out and you have enough money to abandon the people who need you the most.
Woman: Where are you going?

Man: to Cancun till this all blows over

Woman: so you’re Ted Cruzing on me?

Man: Don’t worry I’m just going to drop my wife off for the weekend then stay in Cancun and work remotely from the comfort of my 80 degree hotel room.
by Audi0sl4v3 February 21, 2021
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Ted

ted is a fucking beauty and is jacks brother they like to get fucked up and full send shit all the time ted is also a fucking legend because he’s a farmer
last weekend ted and jack and coop got slauched
by cloud sends September 11, 2019
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Ted

ted
"ted"
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Ted Nungent

Ted Nungent is a great guitarist, fight me
by UltimateDoge June 4, 2023
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Cousin Ted

Cousin Ted is just your cousin, and there is nothing wrong with him. Sure, he may be an extremely skinny creature with pale white skin and hundreds of tiny sharp teeth that only shows up at your window after he prowls around the outside of your house at night but I assure you nothing is wrong with him. He's just your good old cousin Ted who has with five small black beady eyes and an unstoppable urge to scoop out your kidneys after you fall asleep from his foul black viscous "sleep inducing saliva", but don't worry. He's just your cousin Ted, and he may or may not make you watch him eat your kidneys as you slowly die from his attack. Again, there is nothing wrong with "cousin Ted".
Little girl: mom where did timmy go?

Her mom: Cousin Ted was feeling rather peckish.
by Mr. Shog December 9, 2022
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Ted Dibiase

Ted Dibiase is richer than you
by stock user November 9, 2021
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Ted Van Buren

a business mogul who dominates the sports and entertainment sector of southern chester county. He owns, operates, and manages several buildings in the area, most famously the United Sports Training Center (yes george w. bush spoke there).
Goetz: Let’s all go to USTC. Sometimes Ted Van Buren hands out 100 dollars bills to clients!!!

Manny: Bet. I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s not that rinky dink hole in the wall hockey rink over at the Chester County Sports Arena.
by dr gummy March 19, 2021
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