Jesusist

A person who worships Jesus Christ and follows His teachings, but who has renounced the religion built around Him as disparate and hypocritical.

A Christian bases their paradoxical belief system on a Bible that contradicts itself, while a Jesusist's belief system is based solely on the words and deeds of the New Testament Christ.

by Vantonia January 9, 2017

Jesusing

Verb: The act of ghosting someone, then returning a few days later.

Past tense: getting jesused

"I thought we were close, but she kept jesusing me."

by GKH1220 May 4, 2020

Jesus was a furry

A theory first posited by C S Lewis in The Chronicles of Narnia.

Jesus was a furry, and his fursona was a lion named Aslan.

by Queen Buttrix February 9, 2021

lunchroom jesus

One who lends money to others in the lunch room so they might be able to buy their own lunch.

"Yeah, that kid calls me the lunchroom jesus cause he never brings enough money for lunch"

by malikimustard July 13, 2007

cat jesus

Cat jesus is a god with the sexiest legs ever and visits earth in the form of a slab

Wow that slab is very cat jesus

by Oh yeah yeah Zorrorz is great March 9, 2019

One Minute Jesus

A blow job in an elevator while going up.

She gave me a one minute Jesus between the 2nd and 5th floors.

by Exxxcel February 4, 2010

Jesus Early

A time when it is so early that Jesus Christ would not be fully rested after sleeping.
See also: Jesus Hot, Jesus Cold, Jesus Lot, Jesus Sweet, Jesus Late, and Jesus Early

I had to get up Jesus Early for work the other day. I mean, I fell asleep and didn't even awake when my face landed in the deep frier. Someone had to pull me out.

by not_michael October 11, 2004