Likened to the dreaded Freshman 15, the 15 pounds of weight you gain in the first year of college, the COVID-19 is the 19 pounds of weight you can expect to gain from sheltering in place and stress eating during a pandemic. You gain the COVID-19 when FedEx delivers the delicious prepared meals you ordered for the week and you're so bored you eat them all by Tuesday. You gain the COVID-19 when, finally, you eat up all the damn cans of beans you hoarded in March 2019 because you've been out of work so long you can't afford any new food.
I used to be celery, but after gaining the COVID-19 I'm a 🍐.
Have you seen Karen? She looks like she's strapped two 10-pound beef briskets to her arse, she gain the COVID-19.
After six months of sweat pants, Netflix and Funyuns, Stephen tried to put on jeans but soon realized he too had gained the COVID-19 when his pants button shot off across the room like a bullet.
Have you seen Karen? She looks like she's strapped two 10-pound beef briskets to her arse, she gain the COVID-19.
After six months of sweat pants, Netflix and Funyuns, Stephen tried to put on jeans but soon realized he too had gained the COVID-19 when his pants button shot off across the room like a bullet.
by Sygh January 29, 2021
Get the COVID-19mug. The new official orwellian name for "monkeypox." The World Health Organization (WHO) changed/rename monkeypox over concerns from scientists that the name is "discriminatory and stigmatizing."
According to the WHO, men who have sex with men are the group at the highest risk of infection right now. {About 99% of cases are among men, and at least 95% of those patients are men who have sex with men.}
According to the WHO, men who have sex with men are the group at the highest risk of infection right now. {About 99% of cases are among men, and at least 95% of those patients are men who have sex with men.}
Gay Man 1: Eeeeeew, what are all those bumps and sores on your face? You need to see a doctor about that?
Gay Man 2: Naw, it's just Schlong Covid, I think I got from that orgie a few days back. It's also all over my butt and junk.
Gay Man 1: mmmh, I didn't know you like to ride it dirty? We should hang out sometime once your don't look like a walking disease factory.
......
Gay Man 2: Naw, it's just Schlong Covid, I think I got from that orgie a few days back. It's also all over my butt and junk.
Gay Man 1: mmmh, I didn't know you like to ride it dirty? We should hang out sometime once your don't look like a walking disease factory.
......
by Rastathewhite July 29, 2022
Get the Schlong Covidmug. Adj- descriptive of state of mind regarding planning where one acknowledges the fact that between now and the time of an event, circumstances can change, all hell can break loose and you might have to adjust your plans- but you are ok with that.
by Vegas-21 August 5, 2020
Get the COVID-flexiblemug. Covid Karma is the term used for when someone crazy about protecting themselves from getting Covid-19 and is an asshole about it towards other people contract covid despite their efforts not to. This person treats their friends kindly while assuming strangers are sick. They wear a mask in front of people they don’t like and take it off while in the company that they prefer
by Lusti23 December 8, 2021
Get the covid karmamug. Hangover Covid (COVID aka Coronavirus Disease) is a symptom one experiences the morning after getting blackout drunk similar to a regular hangover and may subside for a few days. It's most common in people who think they had COVID but most certainly did not, and are now telling everyone they know that they survived the most infectious disease of 2020. Generally done for no other reason that to make an excuse that why felt slightly sick or to impress their peers.
"Yo, I got blackout drunk with my buddies from out of town and the next day I swear I had COVID."
"Did you take a test?"
"Nah but my headache lasted a few days and my nose was stuffed up for a bit."
"Bro you had hangover covid."
"Did you take a test?"
"Nah but my headache lasted a few days and my nose was stuffed up for a bit."
"Bro you had hangover covid."
by cheesyfeet December 3, 2020
Get the Hangover Covidmug. "I just got diagnosed with Covid-25, don't know why they had to stick something up my nose to figure that out."
by Namelessyeti April 16, 2020
Get the Covid-25mug. To state that you have a college degree on the topic you are debating with someone while being completely wrong about said topic.
During the Covid-19 Pandemic, many students were either given automatic passing grades or failing a class wasn't counted against you. This practice ended up letting students pass classes they shouldn't have or even end up graduating despite not meeting requirements that would otherwise be required had there not been a pandemic.
During the Covid-19 Pandemic, many students were either given automatic passing grades or failing a class wasn't counted against you. This practice ended up letting students pass classes they shouldn't have or even end up graduating despite not meeting requirements that would otherwise be required had there not been a pandemic.
Person 1: "As someone with a Master's Degree in history from Harvard, only 1 million people died in the Holocaust."
Person 2: "Oh, so you got a Covid Degree."
Person 2: "Oh, so you got a Covid Degree."
by MrGandry September 18, 2023
Get the Covid degreemug.